Important Message to Survivors of Child Abuse
The Awareness Center closed. We operated from April 30, 1999 - April 30, 2014. This site is being provided for educational & historical purposes. We were the international Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault (JCASA); and were dedicated to ending sexual violence in Jewish communities globally. We did our best to operate as the make a wish foundation for Jewish survivors of sex crimes. In the past we offered a clearinghouse of information, resources, support and advocacy.
Showing posts with label Bullying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bullying. Show all posts
Sunday, March 09, 2014
Sunday, September 08, 2013
Ari Mandel - Attempts at Cyberbullying
Ari Mandel (AKA: Rachmuna Litzlon)
Attempts at Cyberbullying
For years various individuals have set their minds on cyberbullying, harassing and cyberstalking Vicki Polin, who is the founder and director of The Awareness Center. The attacks began back in 2004, when The Awareness Center was assisting survivors of a few alleged, confessed and convicted sexual predators. The attacks against Ms. Polin was created as an attempt to discredit her and to create a distraction from the real issues, which involved a long history within various Jewish communities of covering-up sex crimes, obstruction of justice and witness tampering. It's obvious that Ari Mandel amongst others, are unaware of the history of the attacks, yet choose to continue with the discreditation of one of the pioneers in the Jewish anti-rape movement.
Ari Mandel is an untrained, yet self-proclaimed expert in the Jewish anti-rape movement. Through experience if someone cyberbullies one person, the odds are they have cyberbullied others.
For more information on Adults who cyberbully, please read the following articles:
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Disclaimer: Inclusion in this website does not constitute a recommendation or endorsement. Individuals must decide for themselves if the resources meet their own personal needs.
Table of Contents
2013
- Oy, if he were a rich man, but not by selling heaven on eBay (05/29/2013)
- Ari Mandel tries to sell his spot in heaven on eBay (05/31/2013)
- Man jokingly puts his place in heaven up for sale on eBay and bids reach $100,000… before it gets taken down (05/31/2013)
- eBay Pulls Auction For Spot IN Heaven After Bids Reach Nearly $100,000... (05/31/2013)
Cyberbullying Attempts
- Facebook (09/07/2013)
- Facebook (09/08/2013)
- How To Beat Cyberbullies
Oy, if he were a rich man, but not by selling heaven on eBay
By Suzanne Choey
NBC News - May 29, 2013
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By Suzanne Choey
NBC News - May 29, 2013
There are some things that are never for sale, not even on eBay. A place in heaven is among them. A New Jersey man posted such a listing as a joke, he says, but was inundated with bids that reached $100,000 before the listing was pulled by the online auction giant.
"I didn't think anyone would take it seriously," Ari Mandel, who put up the listing, told NBC News.
"It's gotten way more attention than I expected. I really didn't expect it to blow up and go crazy the way it did."
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| Ari Mandel served in the U.S. Army from 2007 to 2011. |
Mandel, an Army veteran and student at New York University, said with school now done for the semester, he decided to post the "low-burning idea" he'd been kicking around on eBay Tuesday.
But the listing was removed the same day it went up. An eBay spokesman told NBC News the offer of heaven was in violation of the auction site's "No Item" policy. That policy, spelled out here, says: "We don't allow listings that aren't offering anything for sale or those that have intangible items (generally things don't physically exist)."Little did he realize that 181 people would not only bid on it, but he would get hundreds of emails, phone calls and Facebook messages. Many were from people asking him what the heck he was doing, but he also got equal numbers of responses from those who thought the listing was funny.
Under "listings with no items," eBay goes on to say that intangible items are "things that people won't be able to use or be able to confirm whether they've received the items."
Other intangibles including the selling of one's soul: "Listings that offer someone's 'soul' or a container that claim to have someone's 'soul' are not allowed." And, forget about trying to sell magic potions, spells and curses: those intangibles are cursed as sale items.
Mandel posted "My Portion in Olam Habaah (Heaven)" with bids starting at 99 cents. Among the bidders' comments, he said, were these:
Need to know more b4 I can bid on it. What's the approximate square footage, with that amenities does it come with, and what's the location? Is it in the prime are or more in the back?
Can you tell me where in heaven this portion is? For the price you are asking, I want to make sure I am in prime real estate somewhere over a rainbow, right between the lord and a few angels.
"I really didn't expect it to blow up and go crazy the way it did," said Mandel, 30, who said he has received calls from around world, including from a reporter in Israel. "It was a goofy little joke."
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Man jokingly puts his place in heaven up for sale on eBay and bids reach $100,000… before it gets taken down
Daily Mail - May 30, 2013
- Ari Mandel posted the prank auction item as a joke but quickly received more than 180 bids
- As a former Hasidic Jew, he was happy to give up his 'Portion in olam habaah [heaven]' and promised to live a life free of sin
- But eBay removed the item because it was 'intangible'
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Former Hasidic Jew Ari Mandel, 31,
claims he posted his 'Portion in olam habaah [heaven]'
on eBayas a joke
|
A New Jersey man who offered $100,000 for his spot in heaven by an eBay bidder before the auction site took down his proposal.
Ari Mandel, 31, who identifies himself as atheist lived in an Orthodox Jewish community until he was 23. He posted his 'Portion in olam habaah [heaven]' on eBay on Tuesday.
Since Mandel no longer considers himself a member of the Hasidic community, he was happy to give up his spot.
He promised the winning bidder a signed contract guaranteeing his spot in Habaah, plus another contract guaranteeing that he would live free of sin in order for that spot to be secured. He also promised never to return to religious life and steal the spot back for himself.
‘I didn't think anyone would take it seriously,’ Mandel told NBC News.
‘It's gotten way more attention than I expected. I really didn't expect it to blow up and go crazy the way it did.’
Mandel posted his prank auction on Tuesday and the price quickly grew from 99 cents to $100,000, with more than 180 people bidding.
He also received emails and phone calls, some asking what he was doing, other telling him they thought it was a fun thing to do.
Ari Mandel tries to sell his spot in heaven on eBay
ABC News-15 - May 31, 2013
NEW JERSEY - Turns out not everything is for sale, not even on eBay.
According to the New York Daily News , the site has pulled a man's auction for his "portion in olam habbah (heaven).
Ari Mandel, a Jewish man from Teaneck, N.J, posted the prime spot on the auction's website Tuesday morning.
The winner would have won two signed contracts, one guaranteeing Mandel's "timeshare" in the skies and the other promising Mandel would keep the spot open by abstaining from sin.
Bidding started at 99 cents and skyrocketed within hours to nearly $100,000.
Once eBay got word, they shut down the auction after receiving numerous complaints from people who thought Mandel's post was offensive.
An eBay representative called Mandel and reminded him that users aren’t allowed to sell intangible items.
Mandel said the auction was a "harmless prank."
He told the Daily News: “To those of you who took this seriously, chill out. It was just a joke,” he said. “Whether or not you’re a believer in this sort of thing, chill out.”
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eBay Pulls Auction For Spot In Heaven After Bids Reach Nearly $100,000
Huffington Post - May 31, 2013
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Facebook - Elyahu Fink
September 8, 2013
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How To Beat Cyberbullies
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For more information go to: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml . If you wish to use copyrighted material from this update for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.
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"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." -- Margaret Mead
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Friday, August 16, 2013
It’s About Taking A Stand
It's About Taking A Stand
By Vicki Polin
Examiner - August 16, 2013
The attempts at marginalizing the work of The Awareness Center has been one of the most common defense mechanism used by various Jewish community leaders over the last fifteen years. The goal –– deterring those of us who have been pioneering forces of the anti-rape movement in Judaism.
I cannot even begin to tell you how many times various Jewish community leaders have said: “You can only take what Vicki Polin says with a grain of salt”; “Vicki Polin is nothing more then a self-hating Jew” or that “Vicki Polin is nothing more than an insane, man hating, angry bitch”.
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| Susan B. Anthonly |
These types of tactics are nothing new. They are the exact same bullying techniques used early on and throughout the history of the suffragist movement. Can you just imagine the outrage when back in the early 1840's when women starting joining together globally, demanding they be allowed to have the same civil rights as men –– to be considered their own person, and not just the property of a man. Think about the outrage our society had when Susan B. Anthony came up with the notion that women should also have the right to vote?
What those in leadership positions do not want their community members to realize, is that one grain of salt can merge with others and become a mountain –– just as one drop of water when it joins with another, can soon become a Typhoon.
In the orthodox Jewish world those who started spewing the hate against those of us who speak out against sex crimes are basically all a part of the culture of disturbed dominance –– and should all basically be considered cowards.
With hindsight it should have been expected, that religious community leaders who are afraid of losing their power and control over a society –– by a strong, intelligent, compassionate woman who did not grow up in the Torah observant world –– would be the perfect target for their anger.
Whenever there is someone who is an activist for any cause in which it might change the societal views on a topic, it should be expected that if the pioneering force would also be female, that everyone would automatically assumed that what ever they are doing is out of anger -- with all the negative connotations that go along with it.
When one shines a light on sex crimes in Jewish communities as brightly as I have for the last fifteen years, you would be surprised how many times various caring individuals have told me that I sound too angry.
I should not have been surprised by the number of community leaders who would invest a great deal of time, energy and money using propaganda and the Jewish news media in hopes of “demonizing” those of us passionate individuals who care enough to attempt to protect children and speak out in behalf of adult survivors.
When I started my own personal spiritual quest in the male dominated, orthodox Jewish world fifteen years ago –– and then created The Awareness Center, I had not thought about the fact as a woman I was expected to posses qualities in which women were to be seen as vulnerable, passive, incompetent, unable to make decisions for themselves without consulting with their husband or rabbi first –– let alone be child like. It was as if I was in a time warp –– going back to the early days of the suffragist movement. So many believed that outspoken women were nothing more then neurotic victims of penis envy. Let alone frustrated that they were not men that they would want nothing more then to destroy all male dominated practices in an act of bitter revenge.
For some strange reason my beliefs clashed with the orthodox world. I believe everyone should be educated consumers, I believe that children have the right to grow up in safe homes and communities. I believe that those who have been harmed have a civil right to speak out and find ways to heal, and that those who offend or cover up sex crimes should be criminally charged. I don’t care if I am a woman or a man speaking out. Each and everyone of us have free will and should use our G-d given abilities to speak the truth and be heard and believed.
Jewish Community Leaders Bullying Vicki Polin
It’s About Taking A Stand
By Vicki Polin
Examiner - August 16, 2013
The attempts at marginalizing the work of The Awareness Center has been one of the most common defense mechanism used by various Jewish community leaders over the last fifteen years. The goal –– deterring those of us who have been pioneering forces of the anti-rape movement in Judaism.
I cannot even begin to tell you how many times various Jewish community leaders have said: “You can only take what Vicki Polin says with a grain of salt”; “Vicki Polin is nothing more then a self-hating Jew” or that “Vicki Polin is nothing more than an insane, man hating, angry bitch”.
These types of tactics are nothing new. They are the exact same bullying techniques used early on and throughout the history of the suffragist movement. Can you just imagine the outrage when back in the early 1840's when women starting joining together globally, demanding they be allowed to have the same civil rights as men –– to be considered their own person, and not just the property of a man. Think about the outrage our society had when Susan B. Anthony came up with the notion that women should also have the right to vote?
What those in leadership positions do not want their community members to realize, is that one grain of salt can merge with others and become a mountain –– just as one drop of water when it joins with another, can soon become a Typhoon.
In the orthodox Jewish world those who started spewing the hate against those of us who speak out against sex crimes are basically all a part of the culture of disturbed dominance –– and should all basically be considered cowards.
With hindsight it should have been expected, that religious community leaders who are afraid of losing their power and control over a society –– by a strong, intelligent, compassionate woman who did not grow up in the Torah observant world –– would be the perfect target for their anger.
Whenever there is someone who is an activist for any cause in which it might change the societal views on a topic, it should be expected that if the pioneering force would also be female, that everyone would automatically assumed that what ever they are doing is out of anger -- with all the negative connotations that go along with it.
When one shines a light on sex crimes in Jewish communities as brightly as I have for the last fifteen years, you would be surprised how many times various caring individuals have told me that I sound too angry.
I should not have been surprised by the number of community leaders who would invest a great deal of time, energy and money using propaganda and the Jewish news media in hopes of “demonizing” those of us passionate individuals who care enough to attempt to protect children and speak out in behalf of adult survivors.
When I started my own personal spiritual quest in the male dominated, orthodox Jewish world fifteen years ago –– and then created The Awareness Center, I had not thought about the fact as a woman I was expected to posses qualities in which women were to be seen as vulnerable, passive, incompetent, unable to make decisions for themselves without consulting with their husband or rabbi first –– let alone be child like. It was as if I was in a time warp –– going back to the early days of the suffragist movement. So many believed that outspoken women were nothing more then neurotic victims of penis envy. Let alone frustrated that they were not men that they would want nothing more then to destroy all male dominated practices in an act of bitter revenge.
For some strange reason my beliefs clashed with the orthodox world. I believe everyone should be educated consumers, I believe that children have the right to grow up in safe homes and communities. I believe that those who have been harmed have a civil right to speak out and find ways to heal, and that those who offend or cover up sex crimes should be criminally charged. I don’t care if I am a woman or a man speaking out. Each and everyone of us have free will and should use our G-d given abilities to speak the truth and be heard and believed.
Next View the slideshow
Suggested by the author
- Protecting the civil rights of sex abuse survivors abused at Yeshiva University
- The right to heal from child sexual abuse
- Can we trust the rabbonim of Baltimore to really monitor Rabbi Stanley Levitt?
- Perspective: Survivors of Sex Crimes Being Revictimized
- Cyber-Bullying: The Rabbi Saul Berman way
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Wednesday, February 06, 2013
Bullies
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| Dr. Michael J. Salamon |
Bullies
By Michael J. Salamon
Times of Israel - February 7, 2013
I am tired of bullies. I am tired of the attempts made to bully me and I am tired of those who give support to bullies by supporting them and acting as if they know everything about everything without spending much time beyond looking at the anecdotes in their own very limited life spheres.” This sentence is a direct quote from the father of a young woman who finally gained the strength to report that someone abused his daughter, a teacher that worked at her school. At the time, I asked him who and what he meant by bullies. He said “My community leaders who are making my life a living hell. Not only have they made light of my daughters abuse and our pain but they threatened to ruin me if I filed an official complaint with the authorities.”
At first, I found it interesting that he used the word bully, I might have used a different word, but then I understood. The signs and symptoms of a bully are well known and include; a strong need to dominate, acting intimidating to those who oppose them and rewarding those who support them. A bully is convinced of his own philosophy and superiority even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. A bully is hot tempered, quick to take credit when things go his way but blames others when they do not. A bully attacks others rather than seeks an accommodation, and monopolizes discussions while refusing to allow others to ask questions. A bully is often shallow and glib, is adept at manipulation, can often outmaneuver others verbally, and is often described as a sycophant and slippery. This man was bullied by some community leaders and threatened that if he reported his daughter’s abuse to the police they would close down his business. He did report. He also closed his business, moved to the next town and his daughter went into therapy. That was over 20 years ago. His business did well in the new location and his family life settled down.
More than twenty years ago his daughter, at the age of 12, had significant emotional and behavioral problems. She cut herself, had an eating disorder, and was anxious and depressed. With a great deal of individual and family therapy, she improved. I remembered her when I bumped into her Father at the post office just a few days ago. He recognized me before I recognized him. But, as soon as he began to speak I remembered. My first question was how she was, what she was doing, was she married and so forth? He told me that she was doing well, married, had a few children; she completed graduate school and was working in a health related profession. He also told me that his daughter “still has moments of terror but she learned how to work her way through them.”
He said that he would tell her that I asked about her and was appreciative that I remembered. I told him that I was much more appreciative of learning from his strength and determination. He was in many ways the role model for me. I started to tell him what he already knew, that by informing the police and allowing his daughter to testify that they had stopped a molester from finding more victims. I told him that he stood up to bullies and changed the approach of his community by acknowledging that abuse happens. I also told him that if not for him the school that his daughter went to may never have had a program for students on self-protection.
He was humble in his reaction saying that he did only what he thought was “necessary to protect his family.” I asked him if he would do it again. He answered “in a heartbeat.” I asked him if he would be willing to give a talk to community members about what should be done. He responded “never” and laughed. He went on “It was hard enough knowing that someone had abused my daughter but when leaders of my community wanted to hide it and I was forced by them to turn away from everything I felt a part of, it was devastating for us. I don’t think I can do that again. Of course I would if I had to protect my own family but I hope that never again happens.”
I told him I understood. We wished each other the best and parted ways. I thought that life runs in interesting ways. His family was devastated by the abuse and the community indifference, even anger, at his desire for justice. He did what he had to do. My job turned out to be to help with the repair. But my job also turned into one where I developed a deeper sensitivity and awareness regarding the problems of abuse, to go on and try in some small way to educate the community about the problem and better ways of handling it. I think it is important to point out that this man and his family is from a different religious background. Abuse happens everywhere. Reactions to abuse are similar everywhere, some are supportive and correct, some bad. Every community has its bullies who often miss the mark when dealing with molestation and abuse. Everyone needs an education to understand and react properly, even the bullies.
By Michael J. Salamon
Times of Israel - February 7, 2013
I am tired of bullies. I am tired of the attempts made to bully me and I am tired of those who give support to bullies by supporting them and acting as if they know everything about everything without spending much time beyond looking at the anecdotes in their own very limited life spheres.” This sentence is a direct quote from the father of a young woman who finally gained the strength to report that someone abused his daughter, a teacher that worked at her school. At the time, I asked him who and what he meant by bullies. He said “My community leaders who are making my life a living hell. Not only have they made light of my daughters abuse and our pain but they threatened to ruin me if I filed an official complaint with the authorities.”
At first, I found it interesting that he used the word bully, I might have used a different word, but then I understood. The signs and symptoms of a bully are well known and include; a strong need to dominate, acting intimidating to those who oppose them and rewarding those who support them. A bully is convinced of his own philosophy and superiority even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. A bully is hot tempered, quick to take credit when things go his way but blames others when they do not. A bully attacks others rather than seeks an accommodation, and monopolizes discussions while refusing to allow others to ask questions. A bully is often shallow and glib, is adept at manipulation, can often outmaneuver others verbally, and is often described as a sycophant and slippery. This man was bullied by some community leaders and threatened that if he reported his daughter’s abuse to the police they would close down his business. He did report. He also closed his business, moved to the next town and his daughter went into therapy. That was over 20 years ago. His business did well in the new location and his family life settled down.
More than twenty years ago his daughter, at the age of 12, had significant emotional and behavioral problems. She cut herself, had an eating disorder, and was anxious and depressed. With a great deal of individual and family therapy, she improved. I remembered her when I bumped into her Father at the post office just a few days ago. He recognized me before I recognized him. But, as soon as he began to speak I remembered. My first question was how she was, what she was doing, was she married and so forth? He told me that she was doing well, married, had a few children; she completed graduate school and was working in a health related profession. He also told me that his daughter “still has moments of terror but she learned how to work her way through them.”
He said that he would tell her that I asked about her and was appreciative that I remembered. I told him that I was much more appreciative of learning from his strength and determination. He was in many ways the role model for me. I started to tell him what he already knew, that by informing the police and allowing his daughter to testify that they had stopped a molester from finding more victims. I told him that he stood up to bullies and changed the approach of his community by acknowledging that abuse happens. I also told him that if not for him the school that his daughter went to may never have had a program for students on self-protection.
He was humble in his reaction saying that he did only what he thought was “necessary to protect his family.” I asked him if he would do it again. He answered “in a heartbeat.” I asked him if he would be willing to give a talk to community members about what should be done. He responded “never” and laughed. He went on “It was hard enough knowing that someone had abused my daughter but when leaders of my community wanted to hide it and I was forced by them to turn away from everything I felt a part of, it was devastating for us. I don’t think I can do that again. Of course I would if I had to protect my own family but I hope that never again happens.”
I told him I understood. We wished each other the best and parted ways. I thought that life runs in interesting ways. His family was devastated by the abuse and the community indifference, even anger, at his desire for justice. He did what he had to do. My job turned out to be to help with the repair. But my job also turned into one where I developed a deeper sensitivity and awareness regarding the problems of abuse, to go on and try in some small way to educate the community about the problem and better ways of handling it. I think it is important to point out that this man and his family is from a different religious background. Abuse happens everywhere. Reactions to abuse are similar everywhere, some are supportive and correct, some bad. Every community has its bullies who often miss the mark when dealing with molestation and abuse. Everyone needs an education to understand and react properly, even the bullies.
Friday, April 17, 2009
"Saying it Like it is" - Bullying, Intimidation, Extortion Attempts
"Saying it Like it is" - Bullying, Intimidation, Extortion Attempts
© (2009) Vicki Polin, MA, LCPC, NCC
© (2009) Vicki Polin, MA, LCPC, NCC
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| Vicki Polin, Founder/Director The Awareness Center, Inc. |
Years ago I worked at a rape crisis center with children who were sexually victimized.
I'll never forget the wisdom of "Jodi", who was a six-year-old child. An hour prior to being put on the stand as the sole eyewitness in a murder trial, I had to tell Jodi that the judge made a last minute ruling against using closed circuit TV. Jodi was going to have to be in the same room as the man she witnessed murdering another child.
I'll never forget taking Jodi into a private room and trying to find the right words to gently inform her that of what she was about to face.
Jodi sensed my apprehension and looked directly at me as she put one hand on her hip, and pointed a finger at me -- and said "Vicki, just say it like it is." So I did, and little Jodi provided testimony as a pro and was able to help convict a man she feared.
I have to admit Jodi taught me a life lesson and I've lived by her wisdom ever since.
Over the last eight years of advocating for survivors of sex crimes from within the Jewish community, I've seen so much 'game playing' taking place that would make anyone sick. There's been times that I can't help but wonder if I was crazy to think that things would ever change, and that The Awareness Center could actually help ease the pain for survivors and also put an end to sexual violence in Jewish communities.
In some ways I guess Jewish communities are lucky that I'm stubborn, and because of that The Awareness Center continues on.
I do believe miracles can and do happen. As a people and as a nation we all need to stick together and not give in to the bullying, intimidating and extortion attempts conducted by individuals who are doing what they can to keep sex crimes a secret and trying to protect images that are false and assets that are not worth keeping -- when children's lives are at stake.
As we all know these types actions that create these sorts of silencing behaviors are not just limited to the Jewish community, they occur in of all faiths, races and creeds -- within their own communities.
I do believe miracles can and do happen. As a people and as a nation we all need to stick together and not give in to the bullying, intimidating and extortion attempts conducted by individuals who are doing what they can to keep sex crimes a secret and trying to protect images that are false and assets that are not worth keeping -- when children's lives are at stake.
As we all know these types actions that create these sorts of silencing behaviors are not just limited to the Jewish community, they occur in of all faiths, races and creeds -- within their own communities.
The only way things will ever change is if everyone speaks out and shows their rage at the way things have been handled. We all MUST demand change, and not caving into bullying, intimidating and extortion attempts made by those who are protecting offenders or organizations' assets.
The reality is that over the last eight years those who have been involved with the inner workings of The Awareness Center have been verbally attacked and or shunned.
I'll never forget the day I was walking out of Seven Mile Market, which is a kosher grocery story in Baltimore; A well dressed woman came up from behind my car, screaming at me. This woman was angered because The Awareness Center has the case of Rabbi Eliezer Eisgrau listed on our sex offender registry as an "alleged" sex offender.
I'll never forget the day I was walking out of Seven Mile Market, which is a kosher grocery story in Baltimore; A well dressed woman came up from behind my car, screaming at me. This woman was angered because The Awareness Center has the case of Rabbi Eliezer Eisgrau listed on our sex offender registry as an "alleged" sex offender.
The case of Rabbi Eisgrau is very complex in which there have been several accusations of child molestation, including an allegation coming from Rabbi Eisgrau's own daughter.
Rabbi Eisgrau is also the principal of the Torah Institute of Baltimore, and several parents have made complaints of his use of corporal punishment on the children in his care. Instead of making police reports, the parents chose to enroll their children in other schools.
When the Torah observant woman started screaming, I automatically tried to back away. The woman's reaction was to run up to me and spit in my face.
I was in a state of shock. What I should have done was call 911. Spitting in ones face is considered an assault, unfortunately I didn't think of doing that until I got home. At the time all I wanted to do was get away from there.
I was in a state of shock. What I should have done was call 911. Spitting in ones face is considered an assault, unfortunately I didn't think of doing that until I got home. At the time all I wanted to do was get away from there.
Several years ago when the allegations were first made public regarding the case of Rabbi Hershy Worch, someone broke into my home. All that was taken was the file regarding his case -- which was easily put back together from those who supplied The Awareness Center with the original information. Last years a book was written about Rabbi Worch during his rein of terror in Australia
I think the most intense time for The Awareness Center was during the time period that the cases of rabbi Marc Gafni, rabbi Mordecai Tendler and rabbi Shlomo Carlebach were brought to the attention of the news media. A small group of thugs joined forces in their attempts to destroy not only The Awareness Center, yet also those associated with our organization.
I'll never forget when I first heard that Rabbi Saul Berman was circulating a letter in which he was attacking my personhood. At the time I had never heard of him, yet as time progressed that changed. Rabbi Berman had issue with the fact that I was a guest on the Oprah show back in 1989. On the show I shared some of my experiences of being abused as a child.
Rabbi Berman set out to destroy anything or anyone in his attempts to protect rabbi Marc Gafni. As time progressed Gafni confessed to Gary Rosenblatt (editor of the New York Jewish Week) of molesting teenage girls.
To this day Rabbi Berman has never appoligized directly to the Gafni survivors, the majority of the board members of The Awareness Center, nor to myself for his abusive behavior and attempts to cover up for a confessed sex offender.
I'll never forget when I first heard that Rabbi Saul Berman was circulating a letter in which he was attacking my personhood. At the time I had never heard of him, yet as time progressed that changed. Rabbi Berman had issue with the fact that I was a guest on the Oprah show back in 1989. On the show I shared some of my experiences of being abused as a child.
Rabbi Berman set out to destroy anything or anyone in his attempts to protect rabbi Marc Gafni. As time progressed Gafni confessed to Gary Rosenblatt (editor of the New York Jewish Week) of molesting teenage girls.
To this day Rabbi Berman has never appoligized directly to the Gafni survivors, the majority of the board members of The Awareness Center, nor to myself for his abusive behavior and attempts to cover up for a confessed sex offender.
I'm not unlike any other person who works in the Anti-Rape field who speak out publicly. I stand up for truth and justice -- and refuse to give in to political pressure.
I strongly believe that those who have been sexually assaulted deserve to have their voices heard and their civil rights protected. I also strongly believe that each survivor of any type of crime deserves to have their day in court.
I also believe that one should not have to ask their rabbi for permission to go to secular authorities when a crime has been committed. I am also outraged that in some communities it is expected that one would need permission to seek counseling and need approval from their rabbi of what therapist they would see.
One of the things that happens to those of us who let our views be known is that there are times, in the orthodox world that long time friends will start to distance themselves from you. Speaking out is not something that's very acceptable -- let alone for a woman to do so.
I strongly believe that those who have been sexually assaulted deserve to have their voices heard and their civil rights protected. I also strongly believe that each survivor of any type of crime deserves to have their day in court.
I also believe that one should not have to ask their rabbi for permission to go to secular authorities when a crime has been committed. I am also outraged that in some communities it is expected that one would need permission to seek counseling and need approval from their rabbi of what therapist they would see.
One of the things that happens to those of us who let our views be known is that there are times, in the orthodox world that long time friends will start to distance themselves from you. Speaking out is not something that's very acceptable -- let alone for a woman to do so.
Unfortunately, there have been various rabbonim, who have been attempting to persuade their community members not to communicate with anyone connected to The Awareness Center, including myself. These religious community leaders have been telling their congregants that our organization is practicing lashon hara and that I am crazy. They base this on the fact that I back in 1989 I spoke out on national TV sharing my child abuse history.
I was on the Oprah Show during a time that the Anti-Rape movement was still pretty much in its infancy. Speaking out publicly as an incest survivor, was something that was still pretty taboo in the secular world.
Prior to going on The Oprah Show, an agreement was made that Oprah would not mention I was Jewish. Unfortunately, she made a mistake and said the word. All we both could do from there on, was to just rolled with the punches.
I was on the Oprah Show during a time that the Anti-Rape movement was still pretty much in its infancy. Speaking out publicly as an incest survivor, was something that was still pretty taboo in the secular world.
Prior to going on The Oprah Show, an agreement was made that Oprah would not mention I was Jewish. Unfortunately, she made a mistake and said the word. All we both could do from there on, was to just rolled with the punches.
Though things have changed dramatically in the secular word, the reality is that the orthodox world is at least twenty - thirty years behind the times. It hard to believe that in 2009, it is extremely taboo for someone who is an orthodox Jewish to say that they were molested as a child -- especially if one's offender was also a Jew, let alone a parent.
My abuse was severe at times, and because of that I developed an extreme form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which is called a Dissociative Identity Disorder (or Multiple Personality Disorder).
I am extremely fortunate that I have not dissociated in many years. It's really a miracle that I was able to over come so much, put myself through school and that some see me as a role model. My healing journey was anything but easy. I had my ups and downs -- and I really do thank G-d every day for helping me heal.
What sickens me the most is that so called Jewish spiritual leaders have been attempting to use the fact that I was abused as a child against me. These individuals have tried to use the fact that I developed a dissociative disorder to cope from the horrendous abuse I endured as a child -- as a weapon against my personhood.
What saddens me a great deal is that they neglected to mention when they try to convince people I'm insane, is the fact with a great deal of hard work, I no longer dissociate.
What I'll never be able to understand is why -- anyone would follow a rabbi or any type of spiritual leader who would behave in this manor?
Would you really want these types of thug to have an influence on our children, let alone on your spiritual well being?
I am extremely fortunate that I have not dissociated in many years. It's really a miracle that I was able to over come so much, put myself through school and that some see me as a role model. My healing journey was anything but easy. I had my ups and downs -- and I really do thank G-d every day for helping me heal.
What sickens me the most is that so called Jewish spiritual leaders have been attempting to use the fact that I was abused as a child against me. These individuals have tried to use the fact that I developed a dissociative disorder to cope from the horrendous abuse I endured as a child -- as a weapon against my personhood.
What saddens me a great deal is that they neglected to mention when they try to convince people I'm insane, is the fact with a great deal of hard work, I no longer dissociate.
What I'll never be able to understand is why -- anyone would follow a rabbi or any type of spiritual leader who would behave in this manor?
Would you really want these types of thug to have an influence on our children, let alone on your spiritual well being?
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David Mandel, CEO - Ohel
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Mandel is the Chief Executive Officer of OHEL Children's Home and Family Services in Brooklyn. Ohel is the largest ultra-orthodox mental health agency, which receives both state and federal funding -- making all employees mandated reporters.
During the workshop, David Mandel encourage audience members NOT to report cases of suspected child abuse or neglect to secular legal authorities. Instead this mandated reporter suggests to the audience bring suspicions of abuse to their local rabbis, who are not mandated to report in the state of Maryland.
Fortunately, Awareness Center volunteers were able to record the presentation and we were able to place it up on YouTube (see below).
As a result of exposing Mandel's words publicly, the CEO of the largest Jewish mental health agency has been sending out e-mails to those who contact him stating that I am crazy.
What I think is crazy is that the Chief Operating Officer from a publicly funded mental health agency is violating Jewish law, by telling community members NOT to follow the law of the land.
As a result of exposing Mandel's words publicly, the CEO of the largest Jewish mental health agency has been sending out e-mails to those who contact him stating that I am crazy.
What I think is crazy is that the Chief Operating Officer from a publicly funded mental health agency is violating Jewish law, by telling community members NOT to follow the law of the land.
What I find most interesting is that David Mandel has never sat down and spoke with me to assess my mental health status, yet then again he is not even qualified to do so. He is not a licensed mental health professional. His educational background is in business. He has NO clinical degree.
My insanity must be showing when I ask the question -- "Why doesn't David Mandel believe that children from Jewish orthodox homes deserve the same civil rights and protection as children from secular backgrounds?"
Friday, February 13, 2004
Bullying, Intimidation, Extortion Attempts: Advocating for Survivors of Sexual Violence
© (2004) by Vicki Polin, MA, LCPC, NCC
I don't often speak out publicly about the daily workings of running the only international Jewish coalition against sexual violence. Yet the time has come to bring certain aspects of our work out in the open.
I want to make a point to mention that what ever it is that those who volunteer for The Awareness Center endure, is minor in comparison to what the survivors who contact our organization are forced to deal with on a daily basis.
It is also vitally important to mention that the process of bullying, intimidating and extortion of both survivors and victim advocates is not limited to those in Jewish communities. These sorts of behaviors are conducted by individuals of all faiths -- within their own communities.
As many of you know, The Awareness Center has extremely limited funding and is run purely by volunteers. One of the toughest decisions our executive board had to make was to create a waiting list to assist those who contact us.
Until we have secured enough funding, our efforts are limited. We can only do our best to meet the demand. I want to remind you that The Awareness Center desperately needs your time, energy and financial support.
Those who volunteer for The Awareness Center are some of the most dedicated and courageous individuals I have ever met. I want everyone to realize that prior to volunteering, they are warned about the dangers they will face being associated with our not-for-profit organization. The fact is that each volunteer is putting themselves, their family members and friends at risk of being bullied, intimidated and subjected to other forms of extortion.
Why? Because they are dedicated to putting an end to sexual violence.
Our volunteers understand that changing the way our communities handle allegations of sexual violence NEEDS to be changed immediately. They understand that our rabbis and other community leaders do not have the education or experience to deal with survivors or sex offenders. I hate to say that it appears the majority of our rabbis and community leaders have never taken issues regarding sexual violence seriously.
The Awareness Center is the international Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault. We are a victim advocacy organization. We offer information and resources on topics relating to sexual violence from a Jewish perspective. We offer educational programming and a speakers bureau. We are there for those who have been victimized. This includes family members of both survivors and offenders (alleged and convicted).
The Awareness Center
In the past, The Awareness Center had several situations in which a sex offender from one state moved to another; and then sought a position working in a school, camp or child care facility. Because the individual was posted on our site, we were able to prevent another possible child from being victimized.
The purpose of our list of Rabbis, Cantors and Other Trusted Officials is to protect innocent individuals in our communities from becoming the next victim of an alleged or convicted sexual predator. Past history has shown us, that our community leaders have done little to protected us adequately.
The past tradition in dealing with cases of sexual violence has been to "run a sex offender out of town," With the belief the individual would no longer be a threat to the immediate community, yet there often there was NO warnings system in place to the new community.
The solution in dealing with sex offenders, is NOT to run someone out of town. The answers is for us as a community to insure that offenders are in treatment with qualified, licensed mental health professionals, and that they are monitored not to have access to those who they have a tendency to offend.
I once read some where that "it takes a village to raise a child." The same is true for a sex offender. We need to devise methods to address these serious problems. There are NO easy answers.
Another long time tradition has been to also "chase out" not only those who offend, but also those who have spoken out against an offender; especially if the alleged or convicted offender is someone who has some sort of public standing in the community. This "chasing out" process includes: no longer allowing children to attend Jewish schools (yeshivas), individuals or families no longer welcome at Shabbos tables, individuals loosing their jobs, and or no longer being allowed to pray (daven) in their synagogue, etc.
I have heard of cases where background checks were done on the survivor, their family members and or friends. As we all know everyone has something about themselves they would not want to be made public. We have all made mistakes.
Information would be gathered, and then a warning would be made, that if the survivor didn't drop the case, either the survivor or someone they love would be "exposed."
Would you be shocked to hear me say that these intimidation methods NEED to cease IMMEDIATELY!
Should any of us be surprised that those who volunteer for The Awareness Center also face these forms of harassment.
Our organization is dedicated to representing those who have been sexually victimized. We are speaking out against the way our rabbis and communities have been handling allegations in the past, and because we are pressuring them to make changes. We are also doing what we can to have the needs of those who have been victimized met. We are dedicated to helping them become much more then just "survivors."
Would you be shocked to learn that there have been times that various individuals offered to fund our organization, only if we would take various convicted individuals off of our site? Needless to say, we did not accept the terms of the funding. We do have policies in place regarding individuals being removed.
Despite rumors, the majority of cases The Awareness Center works with never end up on our web page of alleged and convicted offenders. Our goal is NOT to "get someone." Our goal is to help survivors find the resources that are needed, educate our communities and our leaders on the issues surrounding sexual violence (including the needs of both those who have been victimized and those who offend), and do our best to prevent one more person from being victimized.
Remember if you are in a minyan with 10 men, statistically two of them will be survivors of childhood sexual abuse. If you are in a room with 10 women, three will also most likely be survivors.
The Awareness Center already has more survivors then what we can handle. We need to do what we can to prevent anyone else from becoming the next victim of a sex crimes. We desperately need your help securing grants. If you have experience grant writing, please volunteer your time.
The Awareness Center, Inc.
P.O. Box 4824
Skokie, IL 60076
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