Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Jewish Survivors of Crimes

 Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Jewish Survivors of Crimes

(Childhood Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Professional Sexual Misconduct, Clergy Abuse)

THIS PAGE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION

 

Sexual Molestation: 61% of the suicide attempters had been sexually abused (vs. only 29% of the non-attempters). - Gay Teens and Attempted Suicide

The Awareness Center is dedicated to addressing the needs of all Jewish people, including those of the Jewish faith who are gay/lesbian and are Survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Please note, except for the area of sexual abuse and recovery, The Awareness Center does not make judgments concerning individuals, groups or organizations. Our view is that - as with any Jewish survivors - survivors who are gay/lesbian need to know that they are NOT alone, and that they can and are worthy of receiving effective help.

 

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Disclaimer: Inclusion in this website does not constitute a recommendation or endorsement. Individuals must decide for themselves if the resources meet their own personal needs. 
 

Table of Contents:  

1. Jewish Resources
    
   
   • Educational Video
     1. It Gets Better - Gay Orthodox Jews (see below)
     2. Trembling Before God 

        
        

   •  Cases 
     1. Case of Arthur Abba Goldberg - JONAH
        

   • Domestic Violence
     1. Marital Rape in Jewish Homes
     2. Domestic Violence in Jewish Homes

        
        

   • Online Self Help Networks
     1. Networking Egroup for Jewish Survivors who are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgender
     2. Jewish Survivors who have Gender Identity Issues

        
        

   • Organizations
     1. World Congress of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Jews
     2. OrthoDykes
     3. Shamash - The Jewish Network Communities / Homosexuality
      
2. Secular Resources
    
   
   • Articles
     1. Gay Teens and Attempted Suicide
      
   • Books
     1. Gay Men and Childhood Sexual Trauma: Integrating the Shattered Self.  Cassese, James (ed.)2000 . Binghamton, NY: Harrington Park Press

        
        

   • Children of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Parents
     1. COLAGE

        
        

   • Clinical Articles
     1. Am I Gay Because of The Abuse?  by Kali Munro, M.Ed
     2. Sexual Abuse - Lesbian Information Service

        
        

   • Domestic Violence
     1. Gay Men's Domestic Violence Project

        
        

   • Organizations
     1. The Gay & Lesbian National Hotline
     2. GLBT National Help Center 

        
        

   • Teens
     1. Homosexuality and Adolescence
     2. Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Adolescents
     3. The Trevor Helpline

        
        

   • Resources for Family and Friends
     • Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians And Gays (PFLAG)
     • Children of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Parents

Also see:   

• Suicide Prevention

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It Gets Better - Gay Orthodox Jews

YOUTUBE - November 9, 2010

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Gay Teens and Attempted Suicide

By Dale O'Leary

 

Self-identified gay teenagers are at greater risk than straight teenagers to attempt suicide. Gay activists say this problem is due to social homophobia, and that it will be remedied when society puts its stamp of approval on homosexuality.

Activists have grossly exaggerated the number of gay teenagers who have actually died by suicide (1). Nevertheless there is substantial evidence that such teenagers are at greater risk to attempt suicide, and thus it is important to examine the possible contributing factors. 

 

Researchers Remafedi, Farrow, and Deisher (2) compared gay and bisexual adolescents who had attempted suicide, to a group of those who had not. The two groups totaled 137 males, aged 14 to 21. Of that number, 41 (30%) had made at least one suicide attempt. 

 

From this study we see that gay teens that attempt suicide tend to be involved to an alarming degree in drug use, early sexual activity, and prostitution--activities which also predominate in the histories of straight teens who attempt suicide. 

 

The researchers say that suicide attempts appear to be related to "'coming out' at a younger age, gender atypicality, low self-esteem, substance abuse, running away, involvement in prostitution, and other psychosocial morbidities." In 44% of cases, subjects attributed the suicide attempts to "'family problems,' including conflict with family members and parents' marital discord, divorce, or alcoholism." 

 

In fact, psychology has long known that homosexuality is associated with dysfunctional family structures. Statistically, gay men tend to report poor childhood relationships with their fathers, while lesbian women tend to report poor childhood relationships with their mothers (Bell, Weinberg and Hammersmith). Thus "society's oppression" seems a simplistic and misleading explanation for suicidal ideation in gay teenagers.

Among the Remafedi study's findings: 

 

Early Self-Identification as Gay: Subjects who had viewed themselves as homosexual or bisexual at an earlier age were more likely to attempt suicide. 

 

Early Sexual Activity: Teens who had attempted suicide were more likely to have had sexual experiences at an early age. 

 

• Broken Homes: Only 27% of suicide attempters had parents who were married (vs. 50% of the non-attempters).
• Sexual Molestation: 61% of the suicide attempters had been sexually abused (vs. only 29% of the non-attempters).
• Illegal Drug Use: 85% of the attempters had used illicit drugs (vs. 63% of non-attempters).
• Illegal Activities: 51% of the attempters had been arrested (vs. only 28% of non-attempters).
• Prostitution: 29% of the attempters had been involved in prostitution (vs. 17% of non-attempters).
• Gender Conflicts: 36.6% of the attempters were classified as feminine (vs. 17.7% of non-attempters). 

 

Effeminate Gay Males are Most at Risk

Homosexually-oriented adolescents classified as "feminine" are at the highest risk for suicide attempts, drug abuse, prostitution, arrest, and, by implication, the deadly health problems associated with unprotected anal sex. The earlier these teens self-identify as homosexual, and the more "out" they are, the greater the risk of negative lifestyle factors, according to the study. 

 

Why is Treatment Not Recommended?

The tragedy is that there is a treatment for effeminate boys, starting at toddler age, who suffer from Gender Identity Disorder of Childhood -- that is, males who report the persistent wish to be a female. Boys who learn to be happy about being boys are far less likely to suffer the scapegoating and peer rejection that isolates them from contact with their own gender and thus prevents normal male bonding experiences. 

 

Most prehomosexual boys are not explicitly effeminate, but nonetheless are experiencing gender-identity conflict, same-sex peer isolation, and a sense of alienation from their fathers. The same is true for girls who are suffering from gender-identity conflict. Treatment is available for these children, but instead psychotherapists often use the politically correct approach to "accept oneself as gay" rather than addressing the root problem of gender alienation. 

 

Parents concerned about prehomosexuality in their children are often told by their pediatricians not to worry, that no treatment is available, and that the child is genetically destined to be homosexual--even though research scientists know that homosexuality is likely due to a combination of temperamental characteristics such as sensitivity or risk avoidance, environmental influences, and learned behavior patterns, and is not simply "inborn" and predetermined like eye color. 

 

The Problem of Sexual Abuse

When an adolescent self-identifies as gay or bisexual, health-care professionals should ask, "Was this child sexually abused?" The Remafedi study reveals that 61% of self-identified gay teens who had attempted suicide had a history of sexual abuse. Sometimes a boy may not recognize an early sexual experience as abuse, but instead see it as confirmation that he is homosexual. Even adults may fail to see the incident as abuse when the abuser is another same-sexed child or adolescent. An experience of same-sex sex often establishes a lifelong sexual habit pattern in a child who is starved for same-sex attention, affection and affirmation.

The gay lobby has demanded that boys with GID be labeled as prehomosexual, and that schools and psychotherapists counsel their parents to accept the condition as normal, desirable, and unchangeable. Parents, however, have a right to know the truth, and to have access to treatment. 

 

Today, schools issue dire warnings on the (comparatively miniscule) dangers of smoking, and tobacco companies have become liable in some cases for damages. Someday, perhaps, parents who have watched a son die of AIDS will decide to sue their pediatrician because when they brought the child for treatment for GID, they were told not to worry, or that nothing could be done. Perhaps the parents of another boy will bring suit against a school system which labeled the child as unchangeably homosexual and turned him over to a gay support group, where he contracted AIDS. 

 

In both cases, proper diagnosis and treatment might have prevented a negative outcome. 

 

References

1.  LaBarbera, Peter, "Gay Youth Suicide: Myth is Used to Promote Homosexual Agenda," published by the Family Research Council.
2. Remafedi, G., Farrow, J., Deisher, R. (1991) "Risk factors for attempted suicide in gay and bisexual youth," Pediatrics 87: 869 - 875.
3. Bell, A., Weinberg, M.,and Hammersmith, S. (1981) Sexual Preference. Bloomington, IN: Indiana U. Press.

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FAIR USE NOTICE

Some of the information on The Awareness Center's web pages may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, etc. 

 

We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes.

For more information go to: http://www.law.cornell.edu/us code/17/107.shtml . If you wish to use copyrighted material from this update for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

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The Case of the Unnamed Students of Ner Israel Yeshiva in the 1950's

The Case of the Unnamed Students of Ner Israel Yeshiva in the 1950's
Baltimore, Maryland

This page is dedicated to the memory of Israel Fishman

Israel Fishman discloses his abuse by several alleged sex offenders who were students while he attended high school at Ner Israel Rabbinical College and High School in the 1950s.

If you or anyone you know were sexually victimized by anyone connected to Ner Israel and are looking for resources, please feel free to contact The Awareness Center and or your local rape crisis center.

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Disclaimer: Inclusion in this website does not constitute a recommendation or endorsement. Individuals must decide for themselves if the resources meet their own personal needs.

Table of Contents: 

1. My Savior, My Hero - Memories of 1953  (08/16/2003)
2. Trembling Before God

Also see: 

1. The Family of Rabbi Matis Weinberg

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My Savior, My Hero
by Israel Fishman

August 16, 2003

Israel Fishman was interviewed in the movie "Trembling Before God", in which he comes out as an incest survivor.

Please note the following is graphic. The article below tells of the experiences of an incest survivor that occurred over 50 years ago.The following took place in 1953.  I am not quite 15 years old and the youngest student at the Ner Israel Rabbinical Academy in Baltimore Maryland, which was then located at 4411 Garrison Boulevard.

When I arrived a few months earlier I had been the second youngest student, but the boy who was then the youngest was caught in flagrant delicto with another boy and was tossed out. The boy's father, a rabbi from Richmond, Virginia was the mashgiakh (kosher supervisor) for the large FFV Baking Company there. He must have come in to stay for that particular Sabbath, as traveling on that day is strictly forbidden.

So on that sacred day he approached the head of the Yeshiva, Rabbi Jacob L. Ruderman, who was sitting at the front of the large bais medrash (study hall) pleading with him to give his son a second chance. In front of all the students and teachers, Rabbi Ruderman screamed at the boy's father that he could not talk with him because the matter was absolutely closed, and that the boy must leave immediately. Meanwhile I am living in constant fear that either somebody in the yeshiva will find out all my dark secrets, or that God will surely punish me most severely for my unmentionable, abominable sins.

All the time, however I can't stop thinking of the beautifully gorgeous, angelic looking, red-haired and freckled boy, Hochberg from Hartford, and what might have been. I still shudder when I recall the

recent Friday night when a whole bunch of fellow students came to visit me in my dorm room when I was sick. It was a Friday night there were no lights on in the room and all sat or stood around in total darkness. Hochberg, though, sat on my bed, and put his hand under the blanket and groped me. I was so scared, because I was worried that it was an entrapment, and I remained absolutely soft. This is the yeshiva environment in which the following event is taking place.

I have just shut the lights leaving my room for the study hall's evening session. It is a weekday and therefore we have study sessions every evening. Before I actually leave the room I feel somebody's hand on my shoulder who gently but firmly leads me back into my room. The lights remain turned off. His name is NTL. He is an older bokhur, that is, one of the senior students who took responsibility for the moral training of the younger students on a one-to-one basis.

He leads me to the bed where he sits very closely besides me and holds me very tightly around the waist. He is stronger and more powerful than I am. He is also an older bokhur that you have to respect and listen to. I was immobile and frozen.

He tells me that he could tell from the lines under my eyes that I was masturbating (which I already knew was a grave sin, that is the masturbation and not the lines under the eyes per se!), Before long I am confessing to him all the other evil things that I had been doing, including the sex that I had had for many years with my older brother, Calmin. I tell him that it had gone on for nearly six years and had only ended when we separated a few months earlier, with him going to seminary in Cleveland and I, as I said earlier, coming to Baltimore. I feel so relieved in unburdening myself to someone who is so interested in me.

Through the whole long evening (and it feels that it it a very long evening) I am so scared and afraid, feeling that I dare not make a single move, let alone excuse myself to take a pee, which is getting more and more urgent.

I continue to remain in NTL's close embrace, although by now we are standing against a closet door with one of my hands squeezed against the doorknob. By now I don't know what is hurting more, my hand against the doorknob, or having to pee so urgently. But still I dare not move. I am trapped.

NTL makes me promise that I will never, ever, urinate standing up (because doing that I would be touching myself and that might very well lead to masturbation). I must also immediately train myself to sleep only on my side, and not on my belly or back (in order to avoid having a nocturnal emission, which, of course, is also sinful). I am to tell him every time that I transgressed, even if it was just a matter of having a wet dream. Finally, he tells me that I am so indebted to him for what he is doing for me that, even if I had a million dollars, I would have to give it all to him.

I have no awareness of how long I am with NTL; only that my hand is hurting and that I need to pee so badly. I am so afraid of him and I am so overwhelmed by this evening. No one has ever talked to me at such length and especially helping me to overcome my sinful desires.

I have no idea or comprehension where this evening's experience and my relationship with NTL will undeniably and inescapably take me, and what tragic and painful consequences I will have to endure down the road. But all that is in the future (or at least four or so months away.).

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FAIR USE NOTICE

 
Some of the information on The Awareness Center's web pages may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, etc.

We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes.

For more information go to: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml . If you wish to use copyrighted material from this update for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

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"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." -- Margaret Mead

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