Showing posts with label Kal Holczler. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kal Holczler. Show all posts

Thursday, April 22, 2010

New Square appoints Vaad to deal with sexual abuse

This is very bad for the Jewish people of an extremely insular community
The Awareness Center's Daily Newsletter - April 22, 2010
This is very bad for the Jewish people of an extremely insular community. It endangers children's right to grow up in an abuse free environment and for their civil rights to be protected as American citizens.

The idea of a Vaad (Jewish religious court) to handle cases of sexual abuse is totally inappropriate. To this day I do not know of one rabbi who has undergone forensic training nor the education and or experience to conduct victim sensitive interviews.  Please note that the consultants for this "Vaad" are non other then those connected to Ohel.  A mental health agency known to handle cases of sexual abuse without making hotline reports.  As noted in previous e-mails.  A few years ago David Mandel the CEO of Ohel made it quiet public that he does not advocate for orthodox families to comply with American law and report all suspicions of sexual abuse to child protective services.  The self-proclaimed expert in abuse issues, David Pelcovits said publicly prior to Mandel's speech that he supported Mandel.  See video links below:

New Square is an extremely private community located not far from Monsey, New York in Rockland County.  As you enter the town there's a sign posted about how women are supposed to dress modestly or they will be fined.  I've also been told it's a community in which there are now two sidewalks.  One for women, and the other for men.  Yes, this is in New York.

ALSO SEE:
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New Square appoints Vaad to deal with sexual abuse
by Michael Orbach
Issue of April 23, 2010/ 9 Iyar, 5770

At noon on a Sunday afternoon, Isaac Brewer sits at his desk in the back of Fax Unlimited, the electronics store he operates on Route 59 in Spring Valley. The flat-screen monitor on his desk displays several camera views that let him watch the unattended front of the store. Every so often, a customer walks in and Brewer dishes with them over what printer to buy, and every so often, the phone rings and Brewer switches fluently between Yiddish and English, telling one customer that he’ll be happy to drop off a toner at so-and-so’s mother-in-law. And in between conversations, Brewer speaks about sexual abuse.

“The problem has been going on since the world has been created,” explained Brewer, black waistcoat and gray sweater draped over the back of his chair. “But the Rebbe felt a need to get serious about it and to help victims and stop predators… The Rebbe has given us a carte blanche.”

Brewer is part of a six-member committee established 18 months ago by the Skverer Rebbe, Rabbi Dovid Twersky, to combat sexual abuse inside the New Square chasidic community. The committee, known simply as the Vaad, in many ways represents a giant leap forward for the community in dealing with sexual abuse. Advocates for victims of sexual abuse are not as charitable, however, and view the Vaad as a continuation of the legacy of cover-ups that have tainted the larger Orthodox community’s past dealings regarding sexual abuse.

Part of the committee’s strength, Brewer maintains, derives from the insular nature of the community of New Square, which is considered secluded even by chareidi standards.

“We are a closed community,” said Brewer, who speaks eloquently with a slight accent that betrays his upbringing in England. “You can take it in a negative way, but in a positive way a predator cannot slip away to the next synagogue.”
Brewer is refreshingly candid about New Square’s past failures in dealing with sexual abusers inside the community.

“Previously, they were working with professionals, but a lot of education was missing,” Brewer said. “Things slipped away… We never turned a blind eye.”

He likened earlier attempts to deal with abusers to hiring amateur ’sharpshooters.’ “They’ll miss; we missed.”
Since its inception, the Vaad has met with some of the best known psychologists who practice in the Orthodox community, including Dr. David Pelcovitz, Hillel Sternstein, and Barry Horowitz of Ohel. Based on their meetings, the  Vaad developed a a three-pronged approach to the problem of sexual abuse: education, prevention, and taking care of the abusers and their victims.

Brewer says that all educators inside the New Square community have attended sessions about the identifying factors and symptoms of sexual abuse. Trained monitors have been placed inside all schools. It is their responsibility to look for signs of abnormalities in the classroom. Victims of sexual abuse inside the New Square community are sent to treatment, an almost unheard of occurrence in a chassidic community.

“Three years ago I would never understand the trauma he [the sexual abuse victim] goes through,” explained Brewer. “These people are going through an enormous amount of pain.”

More controversially however, the Vaad, under the direction of the psychologists, sends sexual abusers to treatment.

“There is no forgiveness,” Brewer explained “They pay for victim’s treatment, they go through their own treatment and there are measures of protection.”

Those measures include prohibitions against known abusers going to the mikvah, and cameras placed in populated areas.

Brewer declined to discuss whether the Vaad would be willing to work with secular authorities; it would be very hard to answer with yes or no across the board, he said. But he repeated a quote he attributed to a rabbi in the wake of the sentencing of Baruch Mordechai Lebovits, the convicted molester who received a maximum sentence last week.

“It’s a very sad day, but something had to happen,” Brewer quoted the unidentified rabbi as saying.

In certain cases, Brewer clarified, where there was “no way of being taken off the streets, [seeking help from authorities is] definitely an avenue, but I’m not sure this is the most effective [way]… They are not our enemies.”

So far, he explained, no predator, or mazzik, in his words, (literally: damager), that the Vaad has dealt with, has left New Square. But if one were to leave, Brewer said, there would be consequences.

“One of the leading gedolai HaTorah instructed that it was not right to find a mazzik and let him go. It is our job to put the hammer on him,” Brewer explained.

Brewer says the response inside the community has been overwhelmingly positive. The next obstacles the group faces are securing a permanent stream of funding and finding more psychologists who are fluent in Yiddish. He says the program would be expanded as needed.

“We are following instructions from the professionals to the letter,” stressed Brewer.

Ben Hirsch, president of Survivors for Justice, an organization that works with survivors of sexual abuse, was not impressed

“Dealing with reports of sexual abuse through even a well intentioned communal “Vaad,” serves one purpose, the cover-up of the crime,” said Hirsch. “Usually with catastrophic results, when the pedophile strikes again. Only when the residents of New Square realize that the only way to deal with the crime of sexual abuse is to report it directly to the sex crimes division of the police department, who are trained and equipped to investigate these crimes, will their community will be safe for their children.”

Marci Hamilton, the author of “Justice Denied: What America must to to Protect its Children,” compared the Vaad’s action to the Catholic Church.

“That’s just a conscious choice not to learn from the Catholic Church’s problem,” explained Hamilton. “What we know now is that in the Catholic Church and other religous organizations, when they choose to handle these issues internally and do not bring in prosecutors and the state agencies that are trained to deal with these issues, these predators get the better of them. No one should think they can handle this on their own. It’s both hubris and dangerous.”

The Vaad has already dealt with one high-profile case that reached the upper echelons of New Square society: Heshy Brier. Brier, in his 50’s, served in an unofficial capacity directly under the Skverer Rebbe. He is widely believed to have sexually abused hundreds of children over the years. Isaac Brewer of the Vaad would not comment on any specific cases for fear of undermining the Vaad, but reportedly Brier has been stripped of his power and is in treatment.

Kal Holczler, the founder of Voices of Dignity, a sexual abuse survivors organization, claims that he was sexually abused several times by Brier, even at times in the home of the Skverer Rebbe. Holczler’s entanglement with Brier is even more complicated given that, late last year, his sister married Brier’s son. At the time, Holczler sat down with his abuser.

“He didn’t want to go anywhere in public,” Holczler related. “We went to the Skverer Rebbe’s house in Nyack. We went next to the water and I told him how he had affected me and how there are other kids and I wanted to hear what that was like for him.”

Brier declined to speak about the allegations.

“I’m not going to comment on this,” he told The Jewish Star on Wednesday afternoon. “If you want to, go talk to the Vaad.”

Holczler also contends that sexual abuse is far more widespread in New Square than the Vaad maintains.

“I’ve sat with kids who are now in their 30’s. When they were 13, they told the Rebbe about sexual abuse and the family got kicked out of Skver,” Holczler said.

He said there are questions.  ”They are behind helping people to report, but what’s going on with the cases they know with offenders walking free?” asked Holczler. “There are people who are walking free that have offended and abused both sexes and they’re still free.

Holczler said that at a meeting he had with the Vaad last week, its members were receptive to the idea of working with the authorities.

“I would like them to assist me and any victims from Skver prosecute their offenders. For them to know that sexual abuse is not only a sickness but a crime. A crime that has affected hundreds of kids. For them to remove someone from office, for them to fire a melamed (a teacher), is not sufficient.”

Another abuse victim of sexual abuse from New Square spoke to The Jewish Star but asked that he not be identified in the newspaper.

“There’s a joke and it’s a very sad joke,” said the victim. “There was a guy trying to get a hitch on 45 going into Williamsburg [from New Square] and he stood there with his hand out. When someone drove by, he said ‘I want to go to America.’”

The therapist who treated Brier praised the Vaad’s action. He also asked to not be named in print.

“It’s a great example of the community in New Square shifting in a very positive direction,” the therapist said, “This guy was very very connected from all facets of the community. He helped build the medical center; he was involved in getting government benefits. This guy was very connected politically. Unfortunately, he used his power and position to harm kids, which is the most devastating part. To me, the community responded to the allegations by not saying ‘How are we ever going to bring this guy down’ — but, ‘How can we protect the community in a way, and get the victims help, and how can we get this man help?’”

“It’s an extraordinarily painful case, but at the end it has gone well,” the therapist continued. “Not in terms of the pain, it doesn’t keep it away, but it shifted the dynamics from denial and blaming victims to getting everybody help.”

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Case of Kal Holczer

Case of Kal Holczer
Voices of Dignity 

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Disclaimer: Inclusion in this website does not constitute a recommendation or endorsement. Individuals must decide for themselves if the resources meet their own personal needs.

Table of Contents:


2010
  1. Regarding "Voices of Dignity", SOVRI Helpline and Kal Holczler (04/21/2010)
  2. Declaration of the Rights of the Child 
  3. WARNING:  VIDEO - This is an organization that has leaders who may be dangerous to women  (04/21/2010)
  4. Victims’ advocate accused of misconduct
Several groups severs ties with colleague over allegations
  (04/23/2010)
  5. The Story of A (Sexual Violence) Victim's Advocate

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Regarding "Voices of Dignity", SOVRI Helpline and Kal Holczler
The Awareness Center's Daily Newsletter - April 21, 2010
Dear Friends,
It saddens The Awareness Center to make the following public announcement, but we feel we have no other option.

Over the last month The Awareness Center has done its best to work with Kal Holczler’s new organization, Voices of Dignity.  Due to concerns about both the safety of adult and child survivors of sexual abuse/assault we have no option but to sever our ties.

One of the many issues we have with this new group includes the fact that Voices of Dignity has strong ties to the SOVRI Helpline/hotline (Support Orthodox Victims of Rape and Incest).  

The SOVRI Helpline is an organization whose policy is not to make hotline reports in cases where they suspect a child is at risk of harm.  They have been justifying this by saying that since they are a volunteer based organization, they are not mandated to report.  They fear that no one will utilize their services if they do the right thing, and protect children when they suspect they are at risk of harm and or neglect.  The Awareness Center is also an all volunteer based organization, and our policy is to always make reports and let law enforcement and or child protective services make the determination if something is wrong. Throughout the history of our organization we have found that those who call us find it comforting to know that we do everything in our power to ensure children have the opportunity to grow up in abuse free environments.

It is also important to note that according to several halachic authorities  all Jews, regardless if stipulated by American law, are considered mandated reporters.  

One would think that organizations like Voices for Dignity and the SOVRI Helpline, who say they care about ending sexual abuse/assault in the orthodox world, would take the high road and do everything in their power to ensure orthodox Jewish children’s civil rights are protected and report all suspicions that a child is at risk of harm would be reported.

SOVRI was originally created many years ago and then folded.  It was revived again back in 2008 as a reaction to the hotline/recorded message put out weekly by Rabbi Nuchem Rosenberg, who was encouraging members of the ultra orthodox community to make hotline reports and work with law enforcement officials.

Unfortunately, SOVRI has many ties to Ohel, which is a mental health agency based in Brooklyn, NY.  This is an organization that receives federal funding, yet their policy is to discourage individuals from making hotline reports when they suspect a child is at risk of harm.  The four key players in this “helpline" include:  Chaya Mermerstein, LCSW and Cheryl Friedman, LCSW, both of Beth Israel's staff and psychotherapist Yoni Hikind, LMSW.  The original founder of the organization is Bassya Littman.

SOVRI’s halachic advisor is rabbi Dovid Cohen.  For those of you who are unaware, rabbi Cohen is also the halachic advisor for Ohel. Please watch the youtube video of David Mandel, who is the CEO of Ohel providing an educational seminar in Baltimore, in which he gives false information relating to sexual abuse survivors and discourages the audience from protecting children: "Is David Mandel A Mandated Reporter

Another issue The Awareness Center has with Voices of Dignity is the fact that its founder Kal Holczler and his partner Melanie Curtin have both current and past connections with a movement called “One Taste”, which created “the slow-sex movement,”.  According to a New York Times article "the movement". 
“Places a near-exclusive emphasis on women’s pleasure — in which love, romance and even flirtation are not required.  The group has retreats in which about a dozen women, naked from the waist down, lie with eyes closed in a velvet-curtained room, while clothed men huddle over them, stroking them in a ritual known as orgasmic meditation — “OMing,” for short. The couples, who may or may not be romantically involved, call one another “research partners.”

A commune dedicated to men and women publicly creating “the orgasm that exists between them,” in the words of one resident, may sound like the ultimate California satir.”


The Awareness Center believes consenting adults have a right to privacy and that what one finds as healing in one’s private life should remain private. The issue The Awareness Center has is that Kal Holczler has been allegedly coaching unsuspecting female survivors with his techniques in the guise of healing them from sexual trauma.  Holczler is not a licensed mental health professional nor does he have any degrees in the field or certifications as a rape crisis counselor.  He is not being provided clinical supervision by any qualified individual.

Any organizations that are affiliated with Ohel or “One Taste”, including Holczler’s new organization, Voices of Dignity, should be seen as a danger both to orthodox Jewish children’s safety and civil rights as outlined by the United Nations in 1959 (see below), and to unsuspecting women as well.

Sincerely,
Vicki Polin, MA, LCPC
Founder/Director - The Awareness Center, Inc.

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Declaration of the Rights of the Child
(Adopted by the United Nations General Assembly on November 20, 1959)
Proclaims this Declaration of the Rights of the Child to the end that he may have a happy childhood and enjoy for his own good and for the good of society the rights and freedoms herein set forth, and calls upon parents, upon men and women as individuals, and upon voluntary organizations, local authorities and national Governments to recognize these rights and strive for their observance by legislative and other measures progressively taken in accordance with the following principles:
Principle 1  The child shall enjoy all the rights set forth in this Declaration. Every child, without any exception whatsoever, shall be entitled to these rights, without distinction or discrimination on account of race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status, whether of himself or of his family.
Principle 2  The child shall enjoy special protection, and shall be given opportunities and facilities, by law and by other means, to enable him to develop physically, mentally, morally, spiritually and socially in a healthy and normal manner and in conditions of freedom and dignity. In the enactment of laws for this purpose, the best interests of the child shall be the paramount consideration.
Principle 3  The child shall be entitled from his birth to a name and a nationality.
Principle 4  The child shall enjoy the benefits of social security. He shall be entitled to grow and develop in health; to this end, special care and protection shall be provided both to him and to his mother, including adequate prenatal and postnatal care. The child shall have the right to adequate nutrition, housing, recreation and medical services.
Principle 5  The child who is physically, mentally or socially handicapped shall be given the special treatment, education and care required by his particular condition.
Principle 6  The child, for the full and harmonious development of his personality, needs love and understanding. He shall, wherever possible, grow up in the care and under the responsibility of his parents, and, in any case, in an atmosphere of affection and of moral and material security; a child of tender years shall not, save in exceptional circumstances, be separated from his mother. Society and the public authorities shall have the duty to extend particular care to children without a family and to those without adequate means of support. Payment of State and other assistance towards the maintenance of children of large families is desirable.
Principle 7  The child is entitled to receive education, which shall be free and compulsory, at least in the elementary stages. He shall be given an education which will promote his general culture and enable him, on a basis of equal opportunity, to develop his abilities, his individual judgement, and his sense of moral and social responsibility, and to become a useful member of society.
The best interests of the child shall be the guiding principle of those responsible for his education and guidance; that responsibility lies in the first place with his parents.
The child shall have full opportunity for play and recreation, which should be directed to the same purposes as education; society and the public authorities shall endeavour to promote the enjoyment of this right.
Principle 8  The child shall in all circumstances be among the first to receive protection and relief.
Principle 9  The child shall be protected against all forms of neglect, cruelty and exploitation. He shall not be the subject of traffic, in any form.
The child shall not be admitted to employment before an appropriate minimum age; he shall in no case because or permitted to engage in any occupation or employment which would prejudice his health or education, or interfere with his physical, mental or moral development.
Principle 10  The child shall be protected from practices which may foster racial, religious and any other form of discrimination. He shall be brought up in a spirit of understanding, tolerance, friendship among peoples, peace and universal brotherhood, and in full consciousness that his energy and talents should be devoted to the service of his fellow men.


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WARNING:  This is an organization that has leaders who may be dangerous to women
The Awareness Center's Daily Newsletter - April 21, 2010



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Victims’ advocate accused of misconduct

Several groups severs ties with colleague over allegations

by Michael Orbach 
The Jewish Star - April 23, 2010/ 9 Iyar, 5770


Michael Orbach
In the world of Jewish advocacy against sexual abuse, a sense of solidarity exists among activists who see themselves as waging an uphill battle against communal leaders who have failed in their responsibilities. But in a rare moment on Wednesday, April 21, one activist called out another.

Vicki Polin, CEO of the Awareness Center, an organization devoted to combating sexual abuse in the Jewish community, sent an email blast to her supporters in which she warned about a charismatic new activist, Kal Holczler.

Holczler founded Voices of Dignity, an organization with goals similar to her own, but the Awareness Center, Polin wrote, would be severing all ties with Voices of Dignity. (Holczler was profiled in The Jewish Star on March 12.) She cited a number of reasons.

The first, Polin said, is Voices of Dignity’s association with SOVRI, the Support Orthodox Victims of Rape and Incest Helpline, based out of Beth Israel Medical Center.

“The SOVRI Helpline is an organization whose policy is not to make hotline reports in cases where they suspect a child is at risk of harm,” she wrote. “They have been justifying this by saying that since they are a volunteer based organization, they are not mandated to report.”

Given the extensive cover-ups of sexual abuse that have occurred in the Jewish community, activists consider failing to report to be a grievous offense.

“They fear that no one will utilize their services if they do the right thing, and protect children when they suspect they are at risk of harm and or neglect,” Polin wrote.

Polin saved her most serious allegations for last. Holczler and Voices of Dignity’s managing director, Melanie Curtin, have “current and past connection” with a San Francisco-based movement called One Taste, which promotes a form of deviant sexual behavior. More importantly and more dangerously, Polin concluded, “Holczler has been allegedly coaching unsuspecting female survivors with his techniques in the guise of healing them from sexual trauma. Holczler is not a licensed mental health professional nor does he have any degrees in the field or certifications as a rape crisis counselor.”

Rabbi Yosef Blau, mashgiach ruchani of Yeshiva University, and one of the leading rabbinical figures in raising sexual abuse awareness, also weighed in.

“I have been told by reliable sources,” he wrote on the Frumfollies blog, “that Kal Holczler has behaved improperly with survivors of abuse whom he was ‘helping.’”

Ben Hirsch, president of Survivors for Justice, another advocacy organization, told The Jewish Star that “while we have no direct knowledge of the facts here, any allegations of improper boundary crossing must be taken seriously.”

“Clearly such behavior can never be tolerated,” he continued. “It is incumbent upon those of us who have spent years painstakingly working on this issue to be vigilant in protecting the integrity of this effort.”

Polin met Holczler at an advocacy event called Male Survivor’s Conference; Polin had invited him to speak on their panel. She was taken by his charisma, she said, although she was also alarmed by Holczler’s willingness to work with SOVRI. She asked Holczler to respond to her concerns but said that he never did.

Polin was not at liberty to discuss the allegations of sexual misconduct against Holczler, she said.

“There’s allegations of him being inappropriate with people whom he has been counseling,” she explained. “I could not write or send something out unless I had enough information.”

She struck a note of compassion for Holczler’s situation: “I mean, he’s a survivor [of sexual abuse] and like any other survivors we have our struggles and issues. It’s obvious that Kal has issues that haven’t been resolved and worked through. Is his behavior criminal? That would be up to a court. Was he being sexually reactive? I don’t know. He obviously needs help… My hope is he’ll get help and everything will be okay. I’m scared. I don’t want anyone to get hurt,” Polin said.

In her letter Polin stated that Holczler and Curtin are entitled to do whatever they want, but the allegations are no less strange given Polin’s own history. On May 1, 1989, Polin appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show claiming that she was a survivor of a Jewish ritual satanic cult (the clip is available on YouTube). Polin, who went by the name Rachel, spoke about how she and her family sacrificed babies to the devil.

“Does everyone else think it’s a nice Jewish family?” Oprah asked? “From the outside, you appear to be a nice Jewish girl?” Polin responded that there were several other Jewish families like hers, though she added, “Not all Jewish people sacrifice babies. I mean, it’s not a very typical thing.”

The Anti-Defamation League criticized Oprah over the program. Since then, the video has been linked to a variety of anti-Semitic websites as ‘proof’ about Jewish Satanic cults.

Polin won’t discuss her appearance on the Oprah show, except “with law enforcement who are investigating the case.” However, she forwarded The Jewish Star information about her appearance gathered by Luke Ford, a blogger in Los Angeles.  Everyone involved in The Awareness Center is aware of her appearance, she says, which took place some 20 years ago.  Several volunteers run the organization out of Polin’s home in Baltimore.

“The majority of people who go into the mental health field go into it for different things that happened in their life, not necessarily sexual abuse,” Polin asserted. “The same thing with people who go into law enforcement – someone touched by some kind of crime.”

The Awareness Center’s website functions as a morbid Who’s-Who of Jewish sexual abuse offenders. Most activists regard Polin as a key player in raising awareness of sexual abuse.

“On some levels I think if it wasn’t for Vicki there wouldn’t be much of an advocacy program in the Jewish community,” said Dr. Michael Salamon, a Hewlett-based psychologist who serves on the board of The Awareness Center and is also an occasional contributor to The Jewish Star.

“There is no doubt that Vicki has put in many years under very difficult circumstances working for people who were abused in the community and has contributed a great deal helping individuals and creating the growing awareness of the seriousness of the problem and the need for communal change,” said Rabbi Blau.

Holczler said he was “shocked” by Polin’s email and flatly denied having any improper relationships with other survivors.

“I’m not claiming to treat anyone, I’m not even giving an endorsement. I showed up in New York and I started listening,” Holczler told The Jewish Star on Thursday.

He defended his relationship with SOVRI. ” They’re a professional organization. It’s legitimate; it’s run by certified mental health professionals,” Holczler said.

Cheryl Friedman, co-coordinator of the SOVRI Helpline and a clinical social worker at the Beth Israel Medical Center in Brooklyn, where SOVRI is based, called Polin’s complaints, “unfounded.”
“Her bone of contention is that if there was a child abuse case we would not report it,” said Friedman, said. “At our helpline, we don’t have enough information. For example, we do not know how old our callers are, or where they live; we don’t have Caller ID. There is no mechanism for us to have the information [that] she’s referring to.”

Friedman said she would have been happy to speak with Polin about the issue, “but we were not given the opportunity.” She said that she believed the letter was sent out because Holczler was asked to denounce the SOVRI Hotline and declined to do so.

Friedman has been in touch with Holczler about getting grants to form a coalition of organizations in the Jewish community, she said.

Holczler said that he believes Polin’s letter is a result of a difference of opinion about how to interact with the Orthodox “establishment” of institutions and organizations.

“I cannot avoid or reject the establishment where I want to see the change happen,” Holczler explained. “There are people in the establishment that really want change but need to be educated and need to be held responsible. Today, it’s almost common knowledge someone speaking about sexual abuse has rabbinical support.”

Holczler does not deny his and Curtin’s involvement in One Taste, but said that he has not been a part of the movement in a year and a half.

“I’m aware of the statistics that people who have gone through sexual abuse will have promiscuity in their history and I fall in the same category,” he said. “I’ve made decisions to deal and heal from the abuse [I experienced] growing up in New Square.”

The allegations have spooked at least one of Holczler’s earlier supporters.

“Kal has the potential to play a vital role in the struggle against
complacency and cover up in  Charedi communities,” said Isaac Schonfeld, a community activist. “Being from a Charedi community gives him the credibility, within those communities, that others don’t have. Being himself a victim of abuse gives him an empathy and understanding that others may lack, but it also too easily leads to dangerous crossings of lines when dealing with other victims of abuse. He correctly notes that he is not a counselor or therapist and therefore most definitely should not be advising victims themselves. Kal has a ‘conquer the world’ youthful dynamism [that is] so important, yet in need of sober direction.”

Holczler said he plans to continue his work in the abuse field.

“My claim was not that I have recovered; I have survived; I am healthy and wealthy,” Holczler said. “That’s not my claim. My claim is I’m still dealing with it.”

(NOTE: Vicki Polin has spoken about being on Oprah for years.  Orbach's information is incorrect. For more information click here)

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Friday, March 12, 2010

WARNING: New tactic in war on sexual abuse

I feel the need to say that I have gotten many complaints about Support Orthodox Victims of Rape and Incest (SOVRI) which is listed as a resource in this article.

The issue is that they do NOT make hotline reports when they SUSPECT a child is at risk of harm. They say they don't because of confidentiality issues. The laws in NY are not the same as in other states. Unfortunately, until they change this policy The Awareness Center can not use them as a resource and suggests that those looking for help go
.   –– Vicki Polin

ALSO SEE:

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New tactic in war on sexual abuse - Voices of dignity
By Michael Orbach

The Jewish Star -
March 12, 2010/ 26 Adar 5770
 

Kal Holczler and Melanie Curtin, managing director of Voices of Dignity

A new organization is aiming for a softer edge in helping survivors of sexual abuse.

Much of the success of Voices of Dignity, as it will be known, will depend on the charisma of founder Kal Holczler, 27. With blue eyes and a trim beard, it seems like he would blend right into the pages of GQ, rather than the sordid world of abused children. The organization hopes to work in the Orthodox community to prevent sexual abuse from within. Their approach is based on Holczler’s own life.

Sitting in a Starbucks across the street from where the trial of Boruch Mordechai Lebovits ended with a conviction on March 9, Holczler told a story that has become now disturbingly familiar. The son of a prominent Chasidic family, he grew up in the town of New Square. As an adolescent he was sexually abused by a rabbi and then again by a community member close to New Square’s religious leader.

“He would drive [us] to the Refuah Health Center. He’d lock the door and go upstairs to one of the doctor’s office and do his duty…Over the last 40 years he has abused hundreds of people that I’m now in communication with,” Holczler explained. “I started running away when I was nine.”

Soon after, he was sent to the first of a number of yeshivas in Brooklyn and Monsey. Eventually, like so many other survivors of abuse, he fell into drugs and petty theft. He ended up in Israel on a program for troubled teens, but found he kept to the same pattern there. The head of the program was eventually sent to prison for molesting his own daughters.

“Those abusers, given the nature of the community, are usually the ones who are paying attention to us,” he related.
Holczler left Judaism completely for the next few years.

“I was selling drugs, stealing, trying to not remember what happened. I attempted suicide,” he said.

As his drug use intensified, friends and family convinced him to attend a drug rehabilitation program upstate. Newly sober, he met with rabbis who he said gave him a transformative experience.

“They showed me something I had never experienced: compassion and willingness to help people who have gone through sexual abuse or who come from traumatic experiences. Not just judging,” he said.

Holczler eventually returned to Israel, to Aish HaTorah, and took night classes to become a substance abuse counselor and began working with Jewish survivors of sexual abuse. He has spent the last few years working in different abuse programs in the United States. Phone calls from victims just like him kept on coming.
Six months ago, after hearing from a relative who was abused in New Square, Holczler returned to New York to found Voices of Dignity.

“It’s not the case that everyone in the Chasidic community wants to cover up sexual abuse,” he maintained. “That’s been put in the papers for the last year and a half. People in the Orthodox community are eager to deal with sexual abuse, even to put people in prison or to send them to treatment.”

He says that the community is hampered by a lack of knowledge about the prevalence of sexual abuse inside the community, as well as how to recognize and deal with it.

“People who have authority … are not even educated in what to look for and how it’s affecting people,” he said. “So far, [it’s] been my experience, if we can get them the funding and introduce the program they think they can implement then the chances are big.”

Voices of Dignity’s first goal is to coordinate pre-existing organizations inside the community. They arranged for an advertising campaign for Sovri Helpline as well as a new hotline number. They plan to work closely with the police, but said that for the community, wide-scale reporting of abuse is “a long way from that.”

“It’s heading in that direction,” he said. “If you have a critical mass when it is acceptable to talk about [sexual abuse], but not acceptable to keep it under the radar, then things will start changing.”

“Kal’s strength lies in his ability to work with such a broad array of people, from Chassidic to secular Jews, from professionals to at risk-teenagers, from law enforcement to victims,” said Asher Lipner, a psychologist in the Orthodox community. “He epitomizes the saying of the rabbis, ‘Who is the wise man? He who learns from every person.’”

So far, Holczler’s work has even brought him back to his own hometown where he met with the man who sexually abused him.

“The only remorse he showed was he was willing to pay to have it go away,” he said.
But, Holczler said, he’s not going anywhere.