Self-Injury, Self-Harm, Self-Inflicted Violence, Self-Injurious behavior, or Self-Mutilation

Self-Injury, Self-Harm, Self-Inflicted Violence, 

Self-Injurious behavior, or Self-Mutilation
(Jewish Survivors of Childhood Sexual abuse, Incest, Sexual Assault, Rape)

We all react in differently to various situations. We all find ways of coping and dealing with the fears, hurt, anger and grief, emotional physical and sexual abuse leaves us to face.

Approximately 1% of the population has, at one time or another, used self-inflicted physical injury as a means of coping with an overwhelming situation or feeling.



Am I Self Harming?

This may appear to be a strange question. But some people may not be sure that what they are doing actually is this. So, to clarify what is meant by self harm/injury i have broken it down to a few small paragraphs.

If you cause physical harm to yourself so that you are causing tissue damage. Things like bruising, breaking the skin or leaving marks that last for longer than a couple of hours. You don't cut to kill yourself.

If you cause this harm to yourself when you are trying to deal with unpleasant, difficult or overwhelming emotions, obsessive thoughts, or when you are dissociated.

If you often think about self harm/injury even when you're feeling calm and not upset/angry/emotional even though you may not be physically thinking about doing it right now.

The first two are indications of self harm/injury, and the last indicates that you may be compulsive.

Many psychiatrists and psychologists suggest that this way of dealing with pain and trauma is because that somewhere along the line, you didn't learn good ways of coping with overwhelming feelings. Some doctors had a theory that it was mainly people who had been abused as children who did this, but as time has gone on it has been proved that these people make up only a small section of those who cut.

From talking to people who do cut on a regular basis i have come to realize that the reason they do feel the need to harm themselves is because it brings a rapid relief from tension, stress and emotional pain.

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Disclaimer: Inclusion in this website does not constitute a recommendation or endorsement. Individuals must decide for themselves if the resources meet their own personal needs.

Table of Contents: 

Jewish Resources


Organizations

Treatment

Articles

1. About Self-harm
2. Bill of Rights for People Who Self-Harm
3. Common Myths about Self-Injury
4. Books

Also See:

1. Choosing Inpatient Treatment: When Good Choices Help and Bad Choices Hurt by Nancy Shaufele (1995)
2. Eating Disorders and The Jewish Community
3. Resources for Jewish Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse
4. Jewish Male Survivors Of Sexual Violence
5. Women's Issues: Survivors of Sexual Violence in Jewish Communities

Secular Resources

Organizations

1. American Self-Harm Information Clearinghouse (ASHIC)
2. National Self-Harm Network  Based in London, England - We are a survivor-led organisation, founded in 1994. We are committed to campaigning for the rights and understanding of people who self-harm.
3. SIARI Self-Injury & Related Issues  Offering hope, support, and enlightenment to those who self-injure, their kith and kin, and those who work alongside people who hurt themselves.
4. Self-injury: You are NOT the only one 

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Common Myths about Self-Injury

Common Myths about Self-Injury 

selfinjury.org


Self-harm is usually a failed suicide attempt.

This myth persists despite a wealth of studies showing that, although people who self-injure may be at a higher risk of suicide than others, they distinguish betwen acts of self-harm and attempted suicide. Many, if not most, self-injuring people who make a suicide attempt use means that are completely different to their preferred methods of self-inflicted violence.

People who self-injure are crazy and should be locked up.Tracy Alderman, Ph.D., author of The Scarred Soul, addressed this:

"Fear can lead to dangerous overreactions. In dealing with clients who hurt themselves, you will probably feel fear. . . . Hospitalizing clients for self-inflicted violence is one such form of overreaction. Many therapists, because they do not possess an adequate understanding of SIV, will use extreme measures to assure (they think) their clients' best interests. However, few people who self-injure need to be hospitalized or institutionalized. The vast majority of self-inflicted wounds are neither life threatening nor require medical treatment. Hospitalizing a client involuntarily for these issues can be damaging in several ways. Because SIV is closely related to feelings of lack of control and overwhelming emotional states, placing someone in a setting that by its nature evokes these feelings is very likely to make matters worse, and may lead to an incident of SIV. In addition, involuntary hospitalization often affects the therapeutic relationship in negative ways, eroding trust, communication, rapport, and honesty. Caution should be used when assessing a client's level of threat to self or others. In most cases, SIV is not life threatening. . . . Because SIV is so misunderstood, clinicians often overreact and provide treatment that is contraindicated.

People who self-harm are just trying to get attention.

A wise friend once emailed me a list of attention-seeking behaviors: wearing nice clothing, smiling at people, saying "hi", going to the check-out counter at a store, and so on. We all seek attention all the time; wanting attention is not bad or sick. If someone is in so much distress and feel so ignored that the only way he can think of to express his pain is by hurting his body, something is definitely wrong in his life and this isn't the time to be making moral judgments about his behavior.

That said, most poeple who self-injure go to great lengths to hide their wounds and scars. Many consider their self-harm to be a deeply shameful secret and dread the consequences of discovery.

Self-inflicted violence is just an attempt to manipulate others.

Some people use self-inflicted injuries as an attempt to cause others to behave in certain ways, it's true. Most don't, though. If you feel as though someone is trying to manipulate you with SI, it may be more important to focus on what it is they want and how you can communicate about it while maintaining appropriate boundaries. Look for the deeper issues and work on those.

Only people with Borderline Personality Disorder self-harm.

Self-harm is a criterion for diagnosing BPD, but there are 8 other equally-important criteria. Not everyone with BPD self-harms, and not all people who self-harm have BPD (regardless of practitioners who automatically diagnose anyone who self-injures with BPD).

If the wounds aren't "bad enough," self-harm isn't serious.

The severity of the self-inflicted wounds has very little to do with the level of emotional distress present. Different people have different methods of SI and different pain tolerances. The only way to figure out how much distress someone is in is to ask. Never assume; check it oput with the person.

Only teen-aged girls self-injure.

In five years of existence, the bodies-under-siege email list has had members of both genders, from six continents, and ranging in age from 14-60+. It's a person-who-has-no-other-way-to-cope thing, not a teenage (or female or American or whatever) thing.

Common Coping Mechanisms Used by Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse

© (1994) Victoria Polin, MA, LCPC, ATR, NCC and Gail Roy, MA, ATR, LCPC

Important Reminder: When reviewing this list it is important to remember that the information provided should not be used as the soul determiner of childhood sexual abuse. This list only provides the reader with a list of some common Coping Mechanisms that are used by many adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. It is also important to remember that coping mechanisms are learned behavioral patterns used to cope. They are not necessarily all "good" or "bad". Many individuals have used their abuse learned coping mechanisms to benefit them professionally and in other personal situations.

1. Minimizing abuse history/herstory and actions of offender(s).

2. Rationalization of one's victimization. "Oh, he/she just didn't know any better. He/She was also abused as a child".

3. Denial is more comfortable for both a child and adult survivor to pretend the abuse never occurred, than face the emotional/psychological pain of the violation.

4. Repression/Forgetting. One's body's way of denying victimization

5. Splitting. Seeing the world in terms of black and white (no shades of gray). Common in survivors when the behavior of the offender was either abusive or loving (no middle).

6. Lack of Integration. On the inside feeling you are bad/evil. On the outside being a super achiever. Developing a "false self". 

7. Out of body experience(s) during the abuse. Feeling that one watched the abuse occurring to one's body. 

8. Control Issues. The more chaotic family life in childhood, the stronger control issues are an issue.

9. Dissociation/Spacing Out. Everyone does this at times; the difference is degree and frequency. Example of normal dissociation: Driving a car and realizing you are farther along then you believed.

10. Hyper awareness/Super alert. Awareness of everyone and everything around you.

11. Workaholism/Business. Staying busy is one way of avoiding feelings.

12. Escape/Running away. Passive ways include reading books, sleeping and watching television. It's important to remember fantasies can be the source of a rich creative life and can be vital to healing.

13. Psychiatric Hospitalizations. Can be used as a respite from intense feelings and/or flashbacks.

14. Self - Mutilation/Self-Harm/Self-Injury. Internalization of offender. Instead of being hurt by victimizer, survivor hurts one's self. Often releases intense feelings and/or numbness after mutilation occurs.

15. Suicide Attempts. Often occurs when survivors feels trapped with no way out. "Don't kill yourself, call a friend, your therapist or a crisis hot-line instead!"

16. Isolation. Feeling safer when alone ("No one can hurt me if I'm alone").

17. Addictions are common ways of coping with the pain of sexual abuse. They are usually self - defeating and self - destructive (drugs, food, gambling, sex . . . ).

18. Lying. When children are told not to tell anyone, the offenders are teaching children to lie. Many survivors are compulsive liars, the abuse being the biggest of them all.

19. Religion. Safety can be found attaching one's self to a belief system that has clear boundaries and rules. Traditional religion can provide an anchor. The lure of divine forgiveness can be a powerful pull for the survivor who still feels the abuse was his/her fault. Unfortunately, destructive cults can also be alluring to an adult survivor for some of the same reasons.

20. Avoiding Intimacy. Seeming open and friendly on the surface but hiding real feelings inside. "Avoiding intimacy keeps one safe - and sometimes leads to positive traits such as independence and autonomy-- it also means missing out on the rewards healthy relationships can bring." (E. Bass & L. Davis, 1988).

21. Manipulation. Adult survivors, who are diagnosed as having a Borderline Personality often are told they are being manipulative. Once they are able to identify, process and express feelings attached to manipulative behavior and taught other ways of getting needs met, the manipulation will usually cease.

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References:

• Bass, Ellen & Laura Davis. The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. New York: Harper & Row, 1988.
• Chutis, Laurieann. Flashbacks. Chicago, IL. Ravenswood Hospital & Medical Center, Dept. of Consultation and Education.
• Davis, Laura. Allies In Healing: When The Person Your Love Was Sexually Abused As A Child. New York: Harper, 1991.
• Gil, Eliana. Outgrowing the Pain: A Book For And about Adults Abused As Children. New York: Dell Publishing, 1983.
• Ideran, Mary. Adult Survivors Signs & Symptoms Checklist The Changing Women in Calumet City.
• Lew, Mike. Victims No Longer: Men Recovering From Incest & Other Sexual Child Abuse. New York: Harper Collins, 1990.
• Napier, Nancy J. Getting Through The Day: Strategies for Adults Hurt as Children. New York: W.W. Norton, 1993.