Showing posts with label nazi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nazi. Show all posts

Monday, February 11, 2013

Case of sex crimes within the Nazi Party

Case of child abuse within the Nazi Party

This page is under construction

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Table of Contents:

  1. Documentary Nazi The Occult Conspiracy (02/13/2013)
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Documentary Nazi The Occult Conspiracy
February 11, 2013




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 "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." -- Margaret Mead

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Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Case of the Ninety-Three Daughters of Israel

Case of the Ninety-Three Daughters of Israel
(Bais Yaakov Movement)
Kracow, Poland

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Table of Contents
    1. Ninety-Three Daughters of Israel (08/11/1942)
    2. 93 Choose Suicide (Yiddish)
    3. 93 choose suicide before Nazi shame (01/08/1943)
    4. Seminary  (03/14/1971)
    5. Chaya's Dance  (04/08/1999)
    6. Israel - The Myth of the 93 Cracow Girls Who Took Their Lives in the Holocaust Exposed  (04/07/2009)
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Ninety-Three Daughters of Israel
By Chaya Feldman
August 11, 1942

We washed our bodies
and we grew clean;
we purified our souls
and we grew quiet.

Death does not terrify us;
we go out to meet him.

We served God while we were alive
and now we can best serve our people
by refusing to be taken alive.

We made a covenant of the heart,
all the ninety-three;
together we learned
and together we will meet our end.

As I write these words
the hour is upon us:
barely enough time to write down this prayer ...

Brethren, wherever you are,
honor the Torah we lived by
and the Psalms we loved.

Read them for us, as well as for you,
and someday when the Beast
has hunted his last prey,
we hope somebody will say Kaddish for us:
ninety-three daughters of Israel.

In 1943 Meir Shenkolevsky, the secretary of the world Bais Yaakov movement and a member of the Central Committee of Agudas Israel in New York, received a letter from Chaya Feldman: "I don't know when you will get this letter and if you still will remember me. When this letter arrives, I will no longer be alive. In a few hours, everything will be past. We are here in four rooms, 93 girls ages 14 to 22, all of us Bais Yaakov teachers. On July 27, Gestapo agents came, took us out of our apartment and threw us into a dark room. We only have water to drink. The younger girls are very frightened, but I comfort them that in a short while, we will be together with our mother Sara [Sara Shnirer, the founder of the Bais Yaakov Seminary]. Yesterday they took us out, washed us and took all our clothes. They left us only shirts and said that today, German soldiers will come to visit us. We all swore to ourselves that we will die together. The Germans don't know that the bath they gave us was the immersion before our deaths: we all prepared poison. When the soldiers come, we will drink the poison. We are all saying Viduy throughout the day. We are not afraid of anything. We only have one request from you: Say Kaddish for 93 bnos Yisroel! Soon we will be with our mother Sara. Signed, Chaya Feldman from Cracow."


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93 Choose Suicide (Yiddish)



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93 choose suicide before Nazi shame
New York Times - Jan. 8, 1943

























































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Seminary
New York Times - March 14, 1971

Margot Brown, Beverly Hills, CA writes that the poem describing a mass suicide of girls in a Warsaw seminary during the German occupation, sought by L.G. on Feb. 7, was written by the late Hebrew poet Hillel Bavli.  "The Letter of the Ninety-Three Maidens" was based on a letter by Haya Feldmen, one of the 93 pupils and teachers at the Beth jacob School who decided to commit suicide rather than yield to the Nazi soldiers.

Following is the first part of the poem:

We cleansed our bodies and we are pure,
We cleansed our spirits and are at peace.
Death does not frighten us,
We shall meet it calmly.

We served God with our life,
We shall know how to hallow his name in death,
A solemn covenant binds the ninety-three of us.
Together we studied God's Torah,
Together we shall die.

Dora E. Landes, Elkins Park, PA; Gershon and Brenda Bacon, New York; Morris Silverman, New York; and Rabbi Ira Eisenstein, New York, are among readers who responded to this query. 

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Chaya’s Dance
by Beverly Gray
Jewish Journal - April 8, 1999

Six years ago, Carol Solomon attended Yom Kippur services in Copenhagen. Flipping through the back of the English language prayerbook, she came upon a poem, translated from Hebrew, called "The Letter of the Ninety-Three Maidens." Based on an actual letter that was found after the Holocaust, it tells of young girls at a Jewish school in Cracow who took poison rather than allow themselves to be defiled by Nazi soldiers. Historians question the letter's authenticity. But for Solomon, "something about this story just captured my heart."

Which is why Solomon, an L.A.-based choreographer, was inspired to create "Chaya's Letter," a full-length dance work that will have its world premiere in Sinai Temple's Barad Hall on Sept. 4, 1999, just before Rosh Hashanah. But a 15-minute excerpt can be seen by the public on Friday evening, April 16, as part of a Yom Ha Shoah service at the Wadsworth Theatre in Westwood, under the auspices of Temple Shalom for the Arts. 

"Chaya's Letter" features six young female dancers, who in rehearsal displayed their passion for Solomon's intense, grueling choreography. The haunting score was composed by Chris Ridenhour, husband of one of the dancers, for piano and string quartet. Solomon, who has never before based a dance on Jewish themes, has been encouraged by the support (both financial and moral) she has received from the Jewish community. Michael Berenbaum, president of the Survivors of the Shoah Foundation, endorsed her work as "powerful, indeed at moments awesome," and calls it a fitting memorial to the victims of the Holocaust. 

For more information about "Chaya's Letter," call the Carol Solomon Dance Co. at (323) 957-9614.

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Israel - The Myth of the 93 Cracow Girls Who Took Their Lives in the Holocaust Exposed
VosIzNiez - April 27, 2009

Israel - Which girls attending a Bais Yaakov school hasn't heard the story of the courageous 93 girls from Sara Shnirer's Cracow seminary who preferred to take their lives rather than submit to the Nazis' despicable plans? A small street in south Tel Aviv bordering on the streets of Mordechai Analewitz (commander of the Warsaw ghetto) and Chana Seresh (the Hungarian Jewish parachutist who was brutally murdered by the Nazis) was called "The 93" after the righteous girls. A book was written about them called "Chaya Feldman's last letter" recounting the tale of courage. 

But 60 years of research have concluded that the story was a fraud. 

Who created the myth and why?
The beginning of the chilling story was in New York in 1943. Meir Shenkolevsky, the secretary of the world Bais Yaakov movement and a member of the Central Committee of Agudas Israel in New York, received a letter from Chaya Feldman just before she gave up her life: "I don't know when you will get this letter and if you still will remember me. When this letter arrives, I will no longer be alive. In a few hours, everything will be past. We are here in four rooms, 93 girls ages 14 to 22, all of us Bais Yaakov teachers. On July 27, Gestapo agents came, took us out of our apartment and threw us into a dark room. We only have water to drink 

"The younger girls are very frightened, but I comfort them that in a short while, we will be together with our mother Sara [Sara Shnirer', the founder of the Bais Yaakov Seminary]. Yesterday they took us out, washed us and took all our clothes. They left us only shirts and said that today, German soldiers will come to visit us. We all swore to ourselves that we will die together. The Germans don't know that the bath they gave us was the immersion before our deaths: we all prepared poison. When the soldiers come, we will drink the poison. We are all saying Viduy throughout the day. We are not afraid of anything. We only have one request from you: Say Kaddish for 93 bnos Yisroel! Soon we will be with our mother Sara. Signed, Chaya Feldman from Cracow." 

The letter also reached Israel, was published in the Davar newspaper and the New York Times, and was the inspiration for songs, articles, assemblies, prayers and poems. A memorial booklet was even issued in memory of the women, who were symbols of bravery, purity and modesty. 

The one problem with the story: After 60 years of comprehensive research, Yad Vashem says conclusively that it never happened. The 93 women were a Holocaust myth, without a basis in reality. 

The street in south Tel Aviv was called "The 93" after chareidi organizations, including the administration of Bais Yaakov and Agudas Israel, asked the municipality to commemorate the girls and call a street after them. The Name Committee accepted the request, based on the "The 93" book which was published by the "Committee to Protect the Honor of a Bas Yisroel" (published in Iyar 1943) which contained articles, prayers and songs in memory of the undefiled girls who took their lives. 

Atty. Naomi Levenkron, an expert on women-trafficking and the director of "Mishna", a non-profit dedicated to studying social law in the Administration College, happened to come across the story. "As one whose occupation revolves around prostitution and rape, I was astonished how come I had never heard this story before." 

Levenkron turned to Yad Vashem and received the laconic reply that the story wasn't true. The response shocked her. "I heard about Holocaust deniers, but I never met Holocaust inventors," she said. She even suspected Yad Vashem's attitude to the story was based on apathy towards abuse of women. 

But there were annoying question marks hanging over the story long before Atty. Levenkron got involved. Prof. Judy Tidor Baumol-Schwartz, the head of the Contemporary Jewry Program in Bar Ilan University, had asked, "How could Chaya Feldman's suicide letter arrive from a room in the closed ghetto, in occupied Europe, to the rabbis in New York? Where did the women acquire such a large quantity of expensive poison? How come none of the Holocaust survivors had heard of this story, which occurred in a relatively small ghetto? Why was the Yiddish letter written in a Hungarian dialect, while Chaya was from Poland? The large number of girls proves that the story was impossible." 

Chareidi Holocaust researcher Esther Farbstein, the head of the Holocaust Studies Center in the Michlala, and author of the book "Hidden Thunder", confirms that from the point of the Nazis, the story is illogical. "It's hard to believe that an organized group of Germans planned an action which opposed the Nazi racial laws, which forbad relations with Jews, and all the more so to do it in public -- even though it is possible that similar events took place in less public circumstances and in different numbers, such as when the soldiers serving in the Wehrmacht felt themselves unhampered by the regulations to maintain their race." 

Despite the hard questions, the chareidi community continues to celebrate the story. Sarit Yechimowitz, who learned in a Bais Yaakov school, recalls that on the day of the 93 girls' yahrtzeit, the girls in her school had an assembly, the principal spoke, and an important rav visited who spoke about the girls' courage and their dying al kiddush Hashem. 

Yechimowitz explains, "The story had a strong impact on us, even me, who was known as a rebel. The line that was taught is that it was ':yaharog v'al yaavor. When you hear again and again about these women's courage, you think to yourself, 'How can I dare go with a short skirt, when 93 women died al kiddush Hashem to be sure their bodies weren't violated?" 

Esther Ettinger, the author of "Wonder in the Night", an account of her childhood and youth in a Bais Yaakov school in Tel Aviv, says she also remembers the story of the 93 girls. "This story sanctifies the goals and important values we were educated to in Bais Yaakov -- maintaining our modesty and purity," she says. "It shows the greatness of faith and the desire for Kiddush Hashem." Nevertheless, Ettinger says that she had also heard that the story was a myth. 

"A Holocaust survivor, who taught in Bais Yaakov, told me that she has her doubts about the story and therefore doesn't teach it," says Prof. Baumol-Schwartz. "She told me that there are enough stories of true bravery by Jewish girls in the Holocaust, but if someone wants to use this story of the 93 girls, let them. 

"I find a dark side to using a fabricated letter about a story that never occurred, but the people who created it probably had good intentions. The story has elements that are poignant to all of us." 

Ms. Farbstein says that the story became famous after the war, when ghetto fighters and partisans were prime heroes in Israeli society. "All the others, particularly the religious, had to defend themselves for going like sheep to the slaughter. There was need for a story of courage that could compare with a ghetto revolt." 

After researching the case, Atty. Levenkron wrote an article which appeared in the Theory and Review journal tying the myth to the shame and guilt suffered by raped women. 

"Throughout history," she explained, "the occupying army not only conquered the enemy country but also its women's bodies. When the war was over, the suffering of the women victims didn't end either. Their community, who should have been supportive of them and help their rehabilitation, accused them of consorting with the enemy. Norwegian women who had relations with German soldiers as part of the German plan to improve its racial purity, were treated viciously and with hostility. Women who were raped in Darfur are similarly treated shamefully by their communities. 

"During my research I discovered only a few references to sexual abuse or sex in exchange for food during the Holocaust. Even when such cases occurred, they were never retold in first person. Holocaust researchers preferred to deal with other questions focusing on femininity rather than sex. A discussion of this kind in reference to the Holocaust is viewed as eroticizing the genocide." 

Mrs. Levenkorn believes that the message which the story of the 93 girls conveys is that whenever a Jewish woman is in danger of being raped, she has the choice to commit suicide or live a life of shame. 

But this may be a misunderstanding. Perhaps the message of the story is that where a woman is likely to be killed anyway, she should take her life in purity rather than first become a rape victim and then be killed.


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Monday, January 15, 2007

Nazi Sex Slaves New Exhibition Documents Forced Prostitution in Concentration Camps

Nazi Sex Slaves New Exhibition Documents Forced Prostitution in Concentration Camps
Spiegel Online International - Jan. 15, 2007
 
A new German exhibition reveals a particularly sordid chapter from the history of the Nazi concentration camps: forcing female inmates to work as prostitutes for the benefit of male slave laborers.


A new exhibition in Germany opens up a subject that has long been taboo -- the use of female concentration camp inmates to provide sexual services to male slave laborers as production incentives during World War II.


"Hardly any other topic from the history of the concentration camps has, on the one hand, been kept so quiet and repressed and is, on the other hand, so tainted with prejudice and distortion, as the forced prostitution of female camp inmates for male camp inmates by the SS," commented Insa Eschebach, the director of the Ravensbrück Memorial Museum, at the opening of the exhibition. 

Between 300 and 400 women were forced to become sex workers in brothels in ten concentration camps, including Auschwitz, Dachau, Buchenwald and Sachsenhausen. A visit to a brothel, known as a "special barrack," was part of a system of incentives intended to boost the productivity of concentration camp slave laborers. These bonuses were not, however, extended to every group of inmates -- Jews in particular were excluded. The idea for the forced prostitution came from Heinrich Himmler himself, as a letter from the SS leader on display in the exhibition shows.

Among the around 200 exhibits are index cards where the prisoners, who came mostly from the Ravensbrück concentration camp, are identified as "brothel women," documents about the bureaucratic organization of the sexual slavery, and audio recordings of male inmates talking about their visits to the brothels. Photos are on the whole not included in the exhibition "to avoid possible voyeuristic expectations," the spokesperson of the Foundation of Brandenburg Memorials, Horst Seferens explained.

Also on display are vouchers which male inmates received from the SS, entitling them to a visit to the brothels. "The brothels were supposed to function as an incentive to increase the productivity of the prisoners in the armaments industry," Seferens said. The sexual slavery was also intended to prevent homosexual behavior from spreading, something the SS leaders feared.

Hardly any of the women, who suffered severe physical and mental damage as a result of their experiences, applied after 1945 for compensation for their suffering because they felt talking about their experiences was too degrading, Eschebach said. "Sex slavery was not identified as such in the judicial cases dealing with the SS crimes," she added.

The exhibition, which runs until Sept. 30, is taking place at the Ravensbrück Memorial Museum in the former Ravensbrück concentration camp , located around 90 km (55 miles) north of Berlin. The camp was unusual it that it held mainly women inmates. Over 130,000 women and children from more than 40 countries were registered as prisoners there during World War II.
 

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Surviving Incest in a Holocaust Family

Surviving Incest in a Holocaust Family
by Lilith Goldberg
Lilith Magazine - January, 1993

On Friday nights, I light the Sabbath candles and recite the ancient blessing of thanks to God. I am alone in my contemplation of the spirit, eating in a shrouded silence. Through the loneliness of this weekly ritual, I mourn the loss of my family - the loss of my biological connectedness. Like my parents before me, I am a Holocaust survivor, unwittingly exposed to intense human evil. It is an irony of my life that there are some memories, that keep me alive, just as others challenge my desire to keep breathing, moving, feeling, existing.

I remember Nazi uniforms, barbed wire, gas ovens and bloodied carcasses. These horrifying images, scenery of an earlier era, were implanted upon me as a child. My father often forced me to act as the "humiliated,"introducing me to Jewish bondage in a Nazi world, child bondage in a grown-up world. I was raped many times as a child - the penis hard, pressuring, pumping, burning my throat, ripping my vagina, my anus, breaking my heart, my trust in any adult.

I sought out explanations for my world, but none were available. Jewish families were depicted only as the haven, the refuge, the place of safety when one was confronted by antisemitism. I could never figure out where to run when the Jewish father raped his Jewish daughter...

When I finally gathered the courage to leave home at age 17, my father called me the worst name he knew: TRAITOR. The accusation was perfectly consistent with my father’s Holocaust orientation.
After the loss of all but two of the one hundred mem bers of his extended family, anyone who left the fold voluntarily could be considered nothing less.

Intellectually, I understand that my father - by doing to me exactly what had been done to him in the camps - was expressing cathartically his own pain and degradation. He was able to relive his experiences in a situation where he had control. Instead of being the child prostitute for the Gestapo, he was now the master himself....

While my father was truly a victim I still cannot forgive him his violations upon my body. I am filled with rage that I was made to suffer as I did.

There was a time when I assumed that my father was a rapist because of the Holocaust. From my discussions with other children of Holocaust survivors, I learned that many men in situations like my father’s lived through the camps and did not sexually abuse their daughters. I can therefore no longer accept the Holocaust as an excuse for my own victimization.

It is true that after six years of slave labor, my father had an obsessive need to control. Because he is a male adult in a male dom inated, adult oriented society, he was able to exercise his privilege over us, his young female children. Had we lived in a society that empowered women and children, perhaps my father’s deep seated need to control would have fond a different "socially appropriate"outlet.

I often have flashbacks of specific childhood moments. When I’m having sex, I remember scenes from early rapes; I have many nightmares; as I simply go about life, reading, shopping, eating, I frequently have momentary auditory or visual memories. I cringe at the sight of uniforms, at the sound of police sirens. To this day I am always early for meetings, wanting to check things out, make sure that I will not be in danger once a large group of people gather. Analyzing the parallels of incest and Holocaust survivorship, I recognize how my father and I are mirrored reflections of one another. Because my father survived genocide, he feels incredibly guilty. What was it about him that caused him to live, while his relations perished? Similarly, whenever I think of my sisters still living at home, I shudder and feel burdened by an enormous weight. How did I manage to escape the prison that holds them still? Why have I not tried harder to rescue them? My father and I also share a sense that danger is imminent, that it’s not safe to give oneself up fully to the present. Vigilance is ever with us. The very fact that my father lives is a threat to me. Even if I choose never again to attend a family get- together, still, knowing that my father is alive and well means fundamentally that I am never at peace, always at risk. Another similarity between my father’s ex perience and my own is that we both lacked models of resistance. My father did not know, nor did I until recently, that Jews fought back in the ghettos and concentration camps. As an incest survivor, I too knew nothing of valiant girls or women who fought back, who killed their violators. Finally, both Holocaust and incest survi vors cope with "revisionists"- those who deny that our experience was real. Neo- Nazis insist that the Holocaust is a hoax. My mother tells me that my sexual abuse is in my imagination. These two Hells are so horrific that not only oppressors and oppressed, but sometimes observers as well obliterate all memories.

Betrayal is another Holocaust/incest similarity. Holocaust survivors often talk of being betrayed by other Jews. Incest, of course, is frequently a betrayal of the most intimate human relationship, of parent to child. If those responsible for our well being choose to harm us instead, then to whom should we turn for emotional support? If not to our own mothers and fathers, then to whom?

So, you see, because of the traumatic events that both my father and I lived through, our psychological patterning is eerily similar. We forget; we deny; we remember; we relive; and then, we forget again. And, of course, it was easy for me to "forget"on a daily basis, because no one at school, or at synagogue, not even social workers, really wanted to hear about incest. Though I desperately sent out distress signals, I was told, over and over, in ways both convert and overt; ‘This doesn’t happen in Jewish families.

There was no one who would listen to the secrets of my soul. On my own, with no sympathetic other, I could do no better than "forget". By the time I was an adult and had retrieved memories of the perversities I’d endured, I could not bring myself to describe these horrors to anyone. Even in an incest survivor’s group, I deliberately withheld details of my childhood traumas. It was too painful to be the "worst case", to receive the pity of those only slightly less abused than myself.

Recently I joined a group of daughters of Holocaust survivors, and to my surprise I encountered a number of women who were raped by their fathers in contexts very similar to mine. Together we examine and re-examine; we journey towards our deeper selves in great trepidation. Because of the support I feel from these women, I am slowly discovering the power of speaking out, of writing about my experience. I still often feel awash in my own shame when I articulate my pain. I still feel guilt ridden, immersed in the suffering of an earlier era, but even as I write this, I move towards recognizing that the agony that my parents endured does not negate my own agony.
And weekly I light the Sabbath candles and recite the ancient words, continuing to bless whatever that spirit is that keeps me moving feeling, existing, alive.
The author of this article was born Chava (Eve) but she changed her name to Lilith in 1975 at the age of 17.

Friday, January 01, 1993

Surviving Incest in a Holocaust Family

Surviving Incest in a Holocaust Family
by Lilith Goldberg
Lilith Magazine - January, 1993

On Friday nights, I light the Sabbath candles and recite the ancient blessing of thanks to God. I am alone in my contemplation of the spirit, eating in a shrouded silence. Through the loneliness of this weekly ritual, I mourn the loss of my family - the loss of my biological connectedness. Like my parents before me, I am a Holocaust survivor, unwittingly exposed to intense human evil. It is an irony of my life that there are some memories, that keep me alive, just as others challenge my desire to keep breathing, moving, feeling, existing.

I remember Nazi uniforms, barbed wire, gas ovens and bloodied carcasses. These horrifying images, scenery of an earlier era, were implanted upon me as a child. My father often forced me to act as the "humiliated,"introducing me to Jewish bondage in a Nazi world, child bondage in a grown-up world. I was raped many times as a child - the penis hard, pressuring, pumping, burning my throat, ripping my vagina, my anus, breaking my heart, my trust in any adult.

I sought out explanations for my world, but none were available. Jewish families were depicted only as the haven, the refuge, the place of safety when one was confronted by antisemitism. I could never figure out where to run when the Jewish father raped his Jewish daughter...

When I finally gathered the courage to leave home at age 17, my father called me the worst name he knew: TRAITOR. The accusation was perfectly consistent with my father’s Holocaust orientation.

After the loss of all but two of the one hundred mem bers of his extended family, anyone who left the fold voluntarily could be considered nothing less.

Intellectually, I understand that my father - by doing to me exactly what had been done to him in the camps - was expressing cathartically his own pain and degradation. He was able to relive his experiences in a situation where he had control. Instead of being the child prostitute for the Gestapo, he was now the master himself....

While my father was truly a victim I still cannot forgive him his violations upon my body. I am filled with rage that I was made to suffer as I did.

There was a time when I assumed that my father was a rapist because of the Holocaust. From my discussions with other children of Holocaust survivors, I learned that many men in situations like my father’s lived through the camps and did not sexually abuse their daughters. I can therefore no longer accept the Holocaust as an excuse for my own victimization.

It is true that after six years of slave labor, my father had an obsessive need to control. Because he is a male adult in a male dom inated, adult oriented society, he was able to exercise his privilege over us, his young female children. Had we lived in a society that empowered women and children, perhaps my father’s deep seated need to control would have fond a different "socially appropriate"outlet.

I often have flashbacks of specific childhood moments. When I’m having sex, I remember scenes from early rapes; I have many nightmares; as I simply go about life, reading, shopping, eating, I frequently have momentary auditory or visual memories. I cringe at the sight of uniforms, at the sound of police sirens. To this day I am always early for meetings, wanting to check things out, make sure that I will not be in danger once a large group of people gather. Analyzing the parallels of incest and Holocaust survivorship, I recognize how my father and I are mirrored reflections of one another. Because my father survived genocide, he feels incredibly guilty. What was it about him that caused him to live, while his relations perished? Similarly, whenever I think of my sisters still living at home, I shudder and feel burdened by an enormous weight. How did I manage to escape the prison that holds them still? Why have I not tried harder to rescue them? My father and I also share a sense that danger is imminent, that it’s not safe to give oneself up fully to the present. Vigilance is ever with us. The very fact that my father lives is a threat to me. Even if I choose never again to attend a family get- together, still, knowing that my father is alive and well means fundamentally that I am never at peace, always at risk. Another similarity between my father’s ex perience and my own is that we both lacked models of resistance. My father did not know, nor did I until recently, that Jews fought back in the ghettos and concentration camps. As an incest survivor, I too knew nothing of valiant girls or women who fought back, who killed their violators. Finally, both Holocaust and incest survi vors cope with "revisionists"- those who deny that our experience was real. Neo- Nazis insist that the Holocaust is a hoax. My mother tells me that my sexual abuse is in my imagination. These two Hells are so horrific that not only oppressors and oppressed, but sometimes observers as well obliterate all memories.

Betrayal is another Holocaust/incest similarity. Holocaust survivors often talk of being betrayed by other Jews. Incest, of course, is frequently a betrayal of the most intimate human relationship, of parent to child. If those responsible for our well being choose to harm us instead, then to whom should we turn for emotional support? If not to our own mothers and fathers, then to whom?

So, you see, because of the traumatic events that both my father and I lived through, our psychological patterning is eerily similar. We forget; we deny; we remember; we relive; and then, we forget again. And, of course, it was easy for me to "forget"on a daily basis, because no one at school, or at synagogue, not even social workers, really wanted to hear about incest. Though I desperately sent out distress signals, I was told, over and over, in ways both convert and overt; ‘This doesn’t happen in Jewish families.

There was no one who would listen to the secrets of my soul. On my own, with no sympathetic other, I could do no better than "forget". By the time I was an adult and had retrieved memories of the perversities I’d endured, I could not bring myself to describe these horrors to anyone. Even in an incest survivor’s group, I deliberately withheld details of my childhood traumas. It was too painful to be the "worst case", to receive the pity of those only slightly less abused than myself.

Recently I joined a group of daughters of Holocaust survivors, and to my surprise I encountered a number of women who were raped by their fathers in contexts very similar to mine. Together we examine and re-examine; we journey towards our deeper selves in great trepidation. Because of the support I feel from these women, I am slowly discovering the power of speaking out, of writing about my experience. I still often feel awash in my own shame when I articulate my pain. I still feel guilt ridden, immersed in the suffering of an earlier era, but even as I write this, I move towards recognizing that the agony that my parents endured does not negate my own agony.
And weekly I light the Sabbath candles and recite the ancient words, continuing to bless whatever that spirit is that keeps me moving feeling, existing, alive.
The author of this article was born Chava (Eve) but she changed her name to Lilith in 1975 at the age of 17.