She Founded Resource for Sex Abuse Victims

By Bryna Zumer

Owings Mills Times

January 24, 2008

Vicki Polin, MA, LCPC, NCC, ATR-BC

Vicki Polin, a counselor specializing in sexual violence, noticed years ago that there seemed to be no Jewish resources for sex abuse victims, and she was uncomfortable referring them to Christian organizations, which she felt might proselytize them or be unable to speak to Jewish issues.

Before relocating to Israel in 2001, she attended Neve Yerushalayim, a women's college in Jerusalem, and saw that people who had been sexually abused had no place to turn.

"All these young women started telling me what happened to them," Polin said. "I started seeing what a problem it was."

A Chicago native, she moved to Baltimore in 2002 and, in 2003, launched the nonprofit International Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault, now known as The Awareness Center.

The organization's goal is to provide resources to victims and educate the general community, but Polin, an incest survivor herself, has also drawn controversy for posting information on alleged offenders, including many prominent rabbis, on the center's Web site.

"Our goal is education. It's not just about, 'Get this guy, get that guy,'" she said, explaining that many in the Orthodox world do not watch TV or read secular news, but have gained information from the center's Web site.

After she, together with a volunteer board of directors, began posting information on offenders, "survivors started saying, 'Why don't you have my story?' The same (victims) were talking about the same (offenders), and we started putting the pieces together."

Although more than 250 rabbis worldwide support The Awareness Center, critics have accused Polin of "lashon ha'ra," derogatory or damaging speech against another person, which Jewish tradition condemns.

"In some places, we're seen as heroes and in some we're seen as crazy or vindictive," she said.

After Polin received allegations against rabbis by a group that turned out to be linked to al-Qaida and was anti-Semitic, she posted resources on abuse for Christians and Muslims as well.

She also works with groups like The Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests, or SNAP, and, in addition to running the non-profit almost single-handedly, regularly testifies in court on behalf of victims of sexual violence.

The goal is not just to educate and reach out to victims, Polin said, but also to help abusers.

"There's no proven treatment for offenders. We don't know what to do, how to stop them," she said.

How parents can protect kids - Rabbi Leib Keleman

By Rabbi Lawrence Keleman

Cleveland Jewish News - July 30, 2004

Rabbi Lawrence Keleman

Like any metropolis, the World Wide Web has neighborhoods, some safe and some horrific. Unlike any other metropolis, the Web lacks a government, laws, or a police force. There are no moral guidelines.

A turn down the wrong cyberstreet guarantees exposure to information or images at least as corrosive as anything available in the streets of New York, Paris, or Tokyo - and often even worse. This is why parents need to be especially vigilant when teens go online.

Ample evidence describes the damage Internet involvement can wreak on academic performance. Although many parents help their children get online in order to bolster grades, research reveals that more time spent online translates into less time spent reading books and declining study skills.

The Internet cultivates impulsive jumping from Web page to Web page, but real learning requires concentration.

Restricting Internet access is a necessary but insufficient solution. What is needed is healing the personality weaknesses that virtually guarantee some individuals will fall victim to Internet temptations. A key challenge to parents and educators is identifying the risk factors and the individuals most at risk.

Four preexisting conditions put an individual at high risk for getting into trouble on the Internet. They are: lack of family bonds; low self-esteem; inability to express opinions and questions; and poor social skills.

 

Lack of family bonds
Both for adults and children, the most statistically significant risk factor for Internet use is weak familial connections. For centuries, rabbis have been teaching that children need parental love, and that when parents are not present to provide it, children will find dangerous replacements elsewhere.

Anything we do to strengthen our relationships with our children - especially spending more one-on-one time with them - makes them less vulnerable to Internet predators.

 

Low self-esteem
Study after study reveals that those who are most attracted to the most degraded
Internet sites also have the lowest self-esteem.

 

Inability to express opinions and questions
Because of its perceived anonymity, the Web offers adults and children alike a place to say and ask what they feel they cannot say and ask in the real world. The less children feel they can discuss with their teachers and parents, the more likely they are to turn to the Internet for discussion and information.

We especially want our children to ask us their questions regarding sexual matters and theological issues and to hear about these matters directly and exclusively from us.

If a child doesn't ask, we read in the Passover haggada, "You must stimulate his question." We must encourage our children and our adult students to inquire, and then we must give them suitable answers.

 

Poor social skills
Many who turn to the Internet for pornography or social contact do so because they consistently fail to succeed socially in their own world.

Parents should and must teach children about the cyberstreet and about the hucksters and criminals who live there. An even more significant step in reducing our children's vulnerability would be to teach them to value personal refinement and integrity at least as much as they value physical appearance or money.

 

Lawrence Kelemen is professor of education at Neve Yerushalayim College of Jewish Studies for Women.