Vicki Polin's Letter to the Editor - The Re-Invented Rabbi

By Vicki Polin - Executive Director, The Awareness Center

The Awareness Center - September 27, 2004 

(The following letter was sent to The New York Jewish Week in response to the article "The Re-Invented Rabbi")

 

Rabbi Marc Gafni (AKA: Mordechai Winiarz

The Awareness Center wants to thank Gary Rosenblatt and The Jewish Week for the courage it took to publish the story on Rabbi Mordechai Gafni (AKA: Marc Winartz, Mordechai Winiarz, Marc Gafni). We also want to thank the three women who were brave enough to share their "alleged" history of being sexually violated by such a prominent public figure. These three women should be seen as heroes. 

According to the article "The Re-Invented Rabbi", Rabbi Gafni confessed to having sexual relations with a 13 year old girl. He pointed out that he was "only 19 or 20 at the time of the relationship." According to New York law, an adult is someone who is age 18 or over.  Keeping this in mind, Gafni's actions would be considered "statutory rape." But we need to keep in mind that the "alleged" victim who was only 13 years old at the time is quoted as calling this "relationship" as "repeatedly sexually assaults over a nine-month period." 

 

Rabbi Gafni is very fortunate that he committed this confessed crime in the United States. If he would have been a few hundred miles north in Canada, there is NO statute of limitation on sexual violence committed against minors. 

It's also hard not to believe the cases of Judy and Susan. If Rabbi Gafni confessed to having a "sexual relationship" with a 13 year old, how difficult is it to believe that he would also "allegedly" sexually assault a 16 year old who was living in his own home, or the alleged attempted rape of a 22-year-old woman. 

Judy stated in her recall of her assault that Mordechai was married to his second wife at the time, yet Gafni stated he only had "adult relationships with women at times when he was single, and was never abusive." He already confessed to having a "relationship" with a 13 year old, so who's telling the truth? 

The Awareness Center is the Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault (JCASA). We are an international clearinghouse of information that deals with sexual violence in Jewish Communities around the world. If you or someone you know has been sexually victimized, please feel free to contact us.

 

Vicki Polin, MA, ATR, LCPC

Executive Director - The Awareness Center 
 http://www.theawarenesscenter.org

The Re-Invented Rabbi - Marc Gafni (AKA: Mordechai Winiarz)

The Re-Invented Rabbi
Gary Rosenblatt - Editor and Publisher New York Jewish Week - September 22, 2004
Is there a statute of limitations for rabbis accused of abuse — and should there be? How does the community determine when someone has done teshuvah, or repentance, as claimed? Can rabbinic ordination be revoked? And when, if ever, do persistent rumors and allegations over a period of years add up to a legitimate story? Prompting these thoughts in this season of repentance and forgiveness is the continuing saga of Rabbi Mordechai Gafni, 43, who in recent years has become an increasingly influential leader of the Jewish Renewal movement. Born as Marc Winiarz, he came to New York from the Midwest for high school and college, became a youth leader and rabbi, was accused of sexual abuses and misconduct, and started life anew in Israel 13 years ago with an Israeli name. He has left several rabbinic and educational posts, here and in Israel, amid a swirl of rumors and allegations spanning two decades. Over time Rabbi Gafni has assumed an increasingly high profile as a charismatic teacher, promoting what he calls a new, post-Orthodox stream of Judaism. He has been featured on Israeli television; written several books, including “Soul Prints: Your Path to Fulfillment,” which was made into a PBS special; lectured extensively in the United States and Israel; served on the spiritual advisory council of Aleph: Alliance for Jewish Renewal, a national organization based in Philadelphia; led retreats at Elat Chayyim, a Jewish Renewal center in the Catskills; preached frequently at the Stephen S. Wise Temple in Los Angeles; and founded Bayit Chadash (“new home”), a New Age Jewish community in Israel that he said strives “to restore the spark of holy paganism.” Rabbi Shlomo Riskin, the spiritual leader of the Israeli community of Efrat, called several months ago to tell me he would like to revoke the rabbinic ordination he gave Rabbi Gafni many years ago when they had a close rabbi-student relationship. Rabbi Riskin characterized as beyond the bounds of Orthodoxy his former student’s theology, described earlier this year in a lengthy profile in Haaretz, the Israeli daily. In the newspaper, Rabbi Gafni called for restoring a balance between the erotic and the spiritual in Judaism. For his part, Rabbi Gafni acknowledged he has moved beyond Orthodoxy. He said he has other ordinations and, in a letter to Rabbi Riskin this spring, “returned” his semicha to spare his former teacher any further embarrassment. Dogged By Critics But the crux of the controversy surrounding Rabbi Gafni is more about his personal behavior than his theology. For the past two decades he has been dogged by a small, informal network of people, here and in Israel, who charge that he has had a long history of immoral conduct, including sexual contact with and abuse of underage girls. These critics, including alleged former victims, several rabbis and educators, have urged synagogues and educational institutions not to hire or engage him, and they have stepped up their efforts as Rabbi Gafni’s activities have broadened and become more public after his return from a self-imposed exile of sorts, spending several years writing and studying at Oxford University in England. Rabbi Gafni admitted to having “made mistakes in my life,” including giving in to a strong temper when he was a young man. But he insisted that while he had adult relationships with women at times when he was single — he has been married for several years to his third wife — he was “never abusive.” He said he has done teshuvah, in part by carefully removing himself from potentially tempting situations. “I don’t work with kids, I don’t counsel men or women, and I don’t meet alone with women,” he said, anxious to be rid of the old allegations. “How do I make it be over?” he asked me. Even Rabbi Gafni’s detractors said he is brilliant, charming and magnetic; even his supporters admitted he has a powerful ego and a spotted past. And he has plenty of detractors and supporters. Indeed, what makes this case so unusual — besides the length of time this issue has been discussed and debated — is the number of prominent rabbis and educators lined up on opposing sides, and the intensity of their convictions. Avraham Infeld, now the president of Hillel, was heading an educational program in Israel called Melitz when he hired Rabbi Gafni in the late 1990s, despite pressure not to do so. Infeld has said he had no regrets. Rabbis Saul Berman, who heads the Modern Orthodox group Edah, and Joseph Telushkin, the writer and ethicist, also defended Rabbi Gafni, asserting that he is a gifted teacher and that they have heard no credible reports against him of improper behavior in the past 15 years or so. “There is an element of unfairness,” Rabbi Berman said, “in continuing to resuscitate the same old claims, which are not substantiated, and for people not to acknowledge that individuals can change and grow.” Regarding the allegations of sexual misbehavior against Rabbi Gafni, Rabbi Riskin said he has been approached by many people over the years with similar patterns of complaints of seductive and harassing behavior toward young women on the part of his former student — charges he takes seriously. Other rabbis troubled by Rabbi Gafni’s past behavior and skeptical of his depth of teshuvah include Rabbi Heshie Billet, the former president of the Rabbinical Council of America, and Rabbi Yosef Blau, spiritual adviser at Yeshiva University, both of whom knew Rabbi Gafni in his youth. Rabbi Blau said he has spoken with a number of women “from the past who said they were victimized, and in no case do I know of his admitting direct responsibility or contacting them to express regret. So what teshuvah has he done?” In Love Or Abusive? Two women who claim to be victims of Rabbi Gafni when they were teenagers in New York more than 20 years ago have come forward separately to speak out, though both asked that their full names not be used because they said they still fear the rabbi. One of the women said Rabbi Gafni “repeatedly sexually assaulted” her over a nine-month period, beginning when she was 13. The woman said she remains emotionally scarred by the experience, which took place in 1979 and 1980. She asserted that Rabbi Gafni, who was then a student rabbi, “repeatedly and forcibly sexually assaulted me” when he would stay at her house over Shabbat and sneak into her room in the middle of the night. “It was a reign of terror and I felt helpless,” she said. “He told me that if I told anyone, I would be shamed in the community and I believed him. I was physically afraid of him.” In the mornings, she continued, Rabbi Gafni would be overcome with guilt and pray fervently, beating his chest, and urge her to do teshuvah as well, since he said his desire for her was her fault. Only years later was she able to tell her family, and she still feels anger about the experience. “I had a real spiritual home in Judaism, and he completely destroyed it,” the woman said. “My work has been to make peace with my own spirituality because it died after that experience.” When told of the woman’s comments, Rabbi Gafni said he would like the situation to be “healed,” adding that his attempt to do so several years ago went unheeded. He pointed out that he was only 19 or 20 at the time of the relationship. “I was a stupid kid and we were in love,” the rabbi said. “She was 14 going on 35, and I never forced her.” The second woman, Judy, said that when she was 16 and deeply unhappy at home, she joined a popular Orthodox outreach group for teens that Rabbi Gafni was leading called JPSY (Jewish Public School Youth), and was drawn to his charisma and concern for her. During a two-week period when she ran away from home and was staying with Rabbi Gafni, who was then 25 and married, Judy said he abused her sexually on two occasions. Even more upsetting, she said, was that afterward, the rabbi tried to convince her the encounter did not happen, and then harassed her for many months. He threatened to keep her out of Jewish schools (she was seeking to transfer from public school to a yeshiva), called her home at all hours of the night and then hung up, mailed pictures to her home of naked men, and had her followed. “He attempted to destroy my life for a year and a half,” she said. Rabbi Gafni said that Judy was a troubled, unstable teenager who fabricated the story after he rebuffed her advances. A woman named Susan, who at the time was a 22-year-old adviser in JPSY, said she believed Judy’s account. She said that when she took Judy’s side, Rabbi Gafni made harassing phone calls and threats against her. “He told me I would regret it,” Susan said, adding that the rabbi made inappropriate advances to her as well. The rabbi said his version of the episode with Judy was corroborated by a psychologist engaged by Yeshiva University, which housed JPSY at the time. Judy said other psychologists support her account. ‘Spiritual Signature’ The back-and-forth on the charges and explanations have filled many of my notebooks over the past three years, as I have interviewed more than 50 people on this issue. Some investigations have a clear resolution; this one does not. Defenders of Rabbi Gafni note the allegations go back many years. They demand more recent proof of wrongdoing and real names to back up the charges. His critics offer, and psychologists affirm, that it is common for abuse victims to speak out only after much time has elapsed, if at all, and to feel embarrassed, if not fearful, about using their names. Even the criteria of when a public airing of abuse charges constitutes lashon hara (prohibited gossip) and when it is an obligation — to protect people — is ultimately a judgment call. The determining factor is whether the accused person is a danger to society and may abuse again. But who is to say when and whether Rabbi Gafni is free of his acknowledged past “mistakes”? Two groups in the Renewal movement, Aleph and Elat Chayyim, looked into the allegations against Rabbi Gafni and found “no evidence of wrongdoing,” according to Rabbi Arthur Waskow. (The three women with whom I spoke said they were never contacted.) And Reb Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, the acknowledged leader of the Renewal movement, said he is aware of the allegations against Rabbi Gafni but supports him. “If you want to find fly specks in the pepper, you can always find them,” Reb Schachter-Shalomi said. “But I’ve watched him teach. He is learned, exciting and charismatic. A good teacher is one who gets people excited.” Indeed, Rabbi Gafni’s followers and admirers said he is a gifted thinker and leader who has helped bring many people closer to Judaism through his writings, lectures and television shows. They said he has done teshuvah, presents no threat to anyone and should be left alone to continue his important teaching. His critics contend that he is a self-promoter and deceiver who has never been honest with others, or himself, about his behavior. They find his increasing popularity infuriating and worry that his charisma and influence could result in trouble for unsuspecting followers. In the middle is Rabbi Gafni, who said that while others portray him as Svengali, he sees himself as a “victim” of a longstanding “witch hunt,” motivated primarily by several Orthodox rabbis jealous of his success. In his writings he described himself as “a flawed human being, forever striving,” and urged each of us to establish and craft our “soul print,” our personal life story, the “spiritual signature” we leave on the world. Rabbi Gafni evokes strong emotions wherever he goes, leaving a mark of darkness or light, depending on how his own “soul print” is perceived. n ALSO SEE: The Case of Marc Gafni (AKA: Mordechai Gafni)

Case of Philip Bender

Case of Philip Bender

Consultant - Columbia, MD

Baltimore, MD

Philip Bender sexually assaulted a teenager girl who babysat for his daughters.  He pled guilty to one count of child abuse in return for prosecutors' recommendation for Probation Before Judgment (PBJ).

Police asked the survivor to call Bender, and they recorded the conversation. He admitted to the sexual contact and said he regretted that it had "repercussions" on her life, according to a transcript of the conversation. 

___________________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: Inclusion in this website does not constitute a recommendation or endorsement. Individuals must decide for themselves if the resources meet their own personal needs.

Table of Contents:  

2004

1. Man, 59, pleads guilty to abuse dating to 1970s (09/22/2004)

___________________________________________________________________________________

Man, 59, pleads guilty to abuse dating to 1970s
By Lisa Goldberg
The Baltimore Sun - September 22, 2004

In court, victim tells judge of years of pain, depression Victim finds `a certain peace' as abuser admits 1970s crimes - Columbia woman tells judge of pain, depression

(Survivors Name Removed)'s voice shook yesterday as she described to a judge the emotional pain caused by sexual abuse she suffered more than 25 years ago -- and explained why she chose to come forward now to seek justice.

For years, she said, she lived with shame, depression and self-hate. The sexual abuse she was subjected to by Philip Bender in the 1970s -- when, as a teenager, she was the baby sitter for his daughters -- destroyed her self-respect and ability to trust others, she said.

But yesterday, by going public with her past, she said she gained a "certain peace." Bender, 59, pleaded guilty to one count of child abuse in return for prosecutors' recommendation for probation before judgment.

The sentence, which Howard Circuit Judge Diane O. Leasure agreed to, includes no jail time and will keep the felony conviction off his record if he completes four years of probation.

"By finding the strength and courage to come forward, to expose this man for who he really is, I hope to regain some of what he robbed from me," (Survivors Name Removed), a 44-year-old homemaker from Catonsville, told Leasure.

"Although there will never be closure, I will take away from this a certain peace in knowing that I finally did all that I could to bring this man to justice and to publicly acknowledge, as he once described it, `our little secret,'" she said.

The Sun does not generally identify victims of sexual abuse, but (Survivors Name Removed) agreed to the use of her name, saying she hoped her story would encourage other victims of abuse to come forward.

(Survivors Name Removed)'s decision to approach police with her story -- which, she said, was triggered by the fact that her elder daughter is a teenager -- led to the arrest this year of Bender, a Columbia resident with a master's degree in electrical engineering.

(Survivors Name Removed) told authorities that the abuse started with "sexual overtures" and kissing before escalating, Howard County Assistant State's Attorney Lisa Broten told the judge.

(Survivors Name Removed) described one incident in a park near Howard High School and another in what was then Bender's Columbia home on White Mane, Broten said. She said she was afraid to report the abuse when it happened because she grew up in a strict Catholic home and was afraid of what her parents would do.

Last September, police asked her to call Bender, and they recorded the conversation. He admitted to the sexual contact and said he regretted that it had "repercussions" on her life, according to a transcript of the conversation.

In a later police interview, he said he realized the sexual relationship, which he said was short, was "inappropriate," Broten said.

In court yesterday, Bender said there were many things in the prosecutors' case that he disagreed with, but he said he regrets "all the pain that's been caused."

There have been no similar reports about Bender, who works as a consultant and is active in his synagogue, said his attorney, Joseph Murtha.

Since (Survivors Name Removed) came forward, Bender, who lives in the 7400 block of Weather Worn Way in Columbia, has separated from his wife. The charges also caused a rift between Bender and his children, Murtha told Leasure.

"There's an emotional and physical and community and personal price that Mr. Bender will pay," Murtha said.

Later, (Survivors Name Removed) said she wasn't troubled that Bender received probation before judgment. Yesterday's hearing gave her what she wanted most -- the chance to confront Bender and to make sure others knew what had happened to her.

"He needed to see the sadness," she said.

Yesterday, both Broten and Murtha said the plea was the best way to end the case -- without having to put (Survivors Name Removed) through an emotionally wrenching trial.

___________________________________________________________________________________

FAIR USE NOTICE
Some of the information on The Awareness Center's web pages may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, etc.

We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes.

For more information go to: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml . If you wish to use copyrighted material from this update for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

___________________________________________________________________________________

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."--Margaret Mead

___________________________________________________________________________________

Facing A Mixed Legacy: First Carlebach conference to grapple with issue of abuse head on; opposition to street naming.

Facing A Mixed Legacy

First Carlebach conference to grapple with issue of abuse head on; opposition to street naming.

By Adam Dickter - Staff Writer

The Jewish Week - September 9, 2004

As the 10th anniversary of Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach's death nears, his family and followers are working on a tribute to the charismatic man whose guitar-strumming, story-telling and bear-hugging approach to Judaism inspired a worldwide spiritual outreach movement that continues to thrive. 

But the first international conference on his legacy may be tempered by past allegations — some dating back decades — that the pioneering rabbi harassed or abused women, although no such accusation was brought publicly while he was alive. 

The Awareness Center, a Baltimore-based advocacy group for Jewish victims of sexual abuse, has issued a "call to action" against efforts to rename an Upper West Side street Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach Way. 

And in planning the three-day international conference here in late October to commemorate the rabbi's teachings, Carlebach followers seem to be tackling the issue head-on by scheduling a session on boundaries between rabbis and their disciples. 

Rabbi Naftali Citron, leader of the Carlebach Shul in Manhattan, which is organizing the conference, would not say if the session stemmed from the allegations, but cited increasing attention to the issue of relationships between clergy and their flocks. 

"This is more the reality of what is going on in the last few years," Rabbi Citron said. "Sometimes people get very close to their spiritual leaders." 

He said other sessions at the conference would include workshops on spiritual activism, how to start a Carlebach minyan, and new and old chasidic teachings. 

Rabbi Citron said it was unfair to allege improper behavior after Rabbi Carlebach's death.

"Reb Shlomo was a great man, and it pains me that different things are being said about him when he is not here to defend himself," Rabbi Citron said. "People could have come forward when he was alive to talk about what he did or didn't do." 

Amy Neustein, a sociologist who studies abuse in the Orthodox community, said until recently a perception of futility has kept such abuse victims from speaking out, as in the case of many religious communities. 

"They tend to hide their victimization because the community has hitherto been unresponsive to their plight," said Neustein, who contacted The Jewish Week in response to an e-mail from the Awareness Center. "What they often do is sacrifice their victims on the altar of shame." 

Allegations of impropriety by Rabbi Carlebach first became public four years after his death in a 1998 story in the feminist journal Lilith. The article claimed that he "sexually harassed or abused" women over the course of a Jewish outreach career spanning four decades. 

In the article, several women spoke of encounters with Rabbi Carlebach involving inappropriate contact or behavior. Others said they heard from other women about such experiences. 

According to Lilith, a group of Jewish women confronted the rabbi about his behavior in a private meeting in Berkeley, Calif., in the early 1980s and, after initially denying a problem, he declared, "Oy, this needs such a fixing," said participants. 

Rabbi Carlebach split from the Lubavitch movement in the 1950s, rejecting the strict separation of the sexes, and forged a brand of celebratory Judaism that encouraged the participation of women. Across the country today, his presence is felt in rousing Carlebach Shabbat ceremonies rich in song and dance at Modern Orthodox and other congregations.

He was known for literally embracing his followers, male and female — an untraditional practice among Orthodox rabbis. 

"It was a different time, a different way, a hippie kind of generation," said Rabbi Citron, a former student of Rabbi Carlebach. "It was no secret that he hugged and kissed women, and got plenty of flack from the religious community. From what I know of him he would never knowingly ever hurt somebody." 

But Vicki Polin, director of the Awareness Center in Baltimore, which is dedicated to addressing childhood sexual abuse in Jewish communities around the world, believes that renaming a street in honor of Rabbi Carlebach would be insensitive to those who have made allegations against him. 

"They also deserve to have a voice," Polin said. "It would be very difficult for them to walk down a street and see that it was named after him." 

Polin's Web site features a page on Rabbi Carlebach's history, including the Lilith article.

Penny Ryan, district manager of Community Board 7 in Manhattan, which must approve the name change before it is submitted to the City Council, said Tuesday that she had received several calls on the matter. 

"We asked them to come to the committee meeting when it will be discussed," Ryan said.

The meeting will be held Tuesday night at the community board's office. 

City Councilwoman Gale Brewer, whose district includes the Carlebach Shul on West 79th Street, where the street would be renamed, said she had been unaware of the allegations against the rabbi until Tuesday, when she heard from the community board about the calls. 

"I will go to the hearing and listen," Brewer said. "There will be discussions. I'd like to hear what everybody has to say. I know the daughters and the rabbi and I know they are good people." 

Carlebach's daughters, Neshama and Dari, have started an online petition to support the name change. 

"We have been given the opportunity to rename West 79th Street from Broadway to Riverside Drive in his name, Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach Way," reads an introduction on the petition. "It is only too appropriate to honor him in this way, to forever remember how he changed lives as he walked up and down this street." 

A call to Neshama Carlebach, who has followed in her father's footsteps as an inspirational singer, was returned by a family friend, Corey Baker. 

"It's too early, on such a sensitive issue, to be giving a comment," Baker said.

Rabbi Goldie Milgram, one of the women who told Lilith she was molested by the rabbi — in her case at a summer camp when she was 14 — said she would not oppose the street renaming in his honor. 

"There are many public figures who had significant shadow sides," said Rabbi Milgram, an author and teacher in Woodstock, N.Y. "It is not for us to remove the places they have earned with their work but to rejoice in the good they have done, to provide opportunities for healing those who were hurt and not denying their pain." 

Naomi Mark, a Manhattan psychotherapist and longtime student of Rabbi Carlebach who will participate in the boundaries panel at the conference, said the rabbi "never wanted to be a flawless guru." 

As the 10th anniversary of his passing approached, Mark said she hoped Rabbi Carlebach would be remembered for his ability to empathize and inspire. 

"He really understood our lives and the sense of alienation people sometimes feel living in the modern world, trying to juggle spirituality and Judaism in the context of the many contradictions they feel," Mark said. "He understood what those struggles are like and that's what made him different from other traditional rebbes.

First Carlebach conference to grapple with issue of abuse head on; opposition to street naming

Facing A Mixed Legacy:

First Carlebach conference to grapple with issue of abuse head on; opposition to street naming

By Adam Dickter - Staff Writer

The Jewish Week - September 9, 2004

Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach

As the 10th anniversary of Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach's death nears, his family and followers are working on a tribute to the charismatic man whose guitar-strumming, story-telling and bear-hugging approach to Judaism inspired a worldwide spiritual outreach movement that continues to thrive.

But the first international conference on his legacy may be tempered by past allegations — some dating back decades — that the pioneering rabbi harassed or abused women, although no such accusation was brought publicly while he was alive.

The Awareness Center, a Baltimore-based advocacy group for Jewish victims of sexual abuse, has issued a "call to action" against efforts to rename an Upper West Side street Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach Way.

And in planning the three-day international conference here in late October to commemorate the rabbi's teachings, Carlebach followers seem to be tackling the issue head-on by scheduling a session on boundaries between rabbis and their disciples.

Rabbi Naftali Citron

Rabbi Naftali Citron, leader of the Carlebach Shul in Manhattan, which is organizing the conference, would not say if the session stemmed from the allegations, but cited increasing attention to the issue of relationships between clergy and their flocks.

"This is more the reality of what is going on in the last few years," Rabbi Citron said. "Sometimes people get very close to their spiritual leaders."

He said other sessions at the conference would include workshops on spiritual activism, how to start a Carlebach minyan, and new and old chasidic teachings.

Rabbi Citron said it was unfair to allege improper behavior after Rabbi Carlebach's death.

"Reb Shlomo was a great man, and it pains me that different things are being said about him when he is not here to defend himself," Rabbi Citron said. "People could have come forward when he was alive to talk about what he did or didn't do."

A sociologist who studies abuse in the Orthodox community, said until recently a perception of futility has kept such abuse victims from speaking out, as in the case of many religious communities.

"They tend to hide their victimization because the community has hitherto been unresponsive to their plight," said the sociologist, who contacted The Jewish Week in response to an e-mail from the Awareness Center. "What they often do is sacrifice their victims on the altar of shame."

Allegations of impropriety by Rabbi Carlebach first became public four years after his death in a 1998 story in the feminist journal Lilith. The article claimed that he "sexually harassed or abused" women over the course of a Jewish outreach career spanning four decades.

In the article, several women spoke of encounters with Rabbi Carlebach involving inappropriate contact or behavior. Others said they heard from other women about such experiences.

According to Lilith, a group of Jewish women confronted the rabbi about his behavior in a private meeting in Berkeley, Calif., in the early 1980s and, after initially denying a problem, he declared, "Oy, this needs such a fixing," said participants.

Rabbi Carlebach split from the Lubavitch movement in the 1950s, rejecting the strict separation of the sexes, and forged a brand of celebratory Judaism that encouraged the participation of women. Across the country today, his presence is felt in rousing Carlebach Shabbat ceremonies rich in song and dance at Modern Orthodox and other congregations.

He was known for literally embracing his followers, male and female — an untraditional practice among Orthodox rabbis.

"It was a different time, a different way, a hippie kind of generation," said Rabbi Citron, a former student of Rabbi Carlebach. "It was no secret that he hugged and kissed women, and got plenty of flack from the religious community. From what I know of him he would never knowingly ever hurt somebody."

But Vicki Polin, director of the Awareness Center in Baltimore, which is dedicated to addressing childhood sexual abuse in Jewish communities around the world, believes that renaming a street in honor of Rabbi Carlebach would be insensitive to those who have made allegations against him.

"They also deserve to have a voice," Polin said. "It would be very difficult for them to walk down a street and see that it was named after him."

Polin's Web site features a page on Rabbi Carlebach's history, including the Lilith article.

Penny Ryan, district manager of Community Board 7 in Manhattan, which must approve the name change before it is submitted to the City Council, said Tuesday that she had received several calls on the matter.

"We asked them to come to the committee meeting when it will be discussed," Ryan said.

The meeting will be held Tuesday night at the community board's office.

City Councilwoman Gale Brewer, whose district includes the Carlebach Shul on West 79th Street, where the street would be renamed, said she had been unaware of the allegations against the rabbi until Tuesday, when she heard from the community board about the calls.

"I will go to the hearing and listen," Brewer said. "There will be discussions. I'd like to hear what everybody has to say. I know the daughters and the rabbi and I know they are good people."

Carlebach's daughters, Neshama and Dari, have started an online petition to support the name change.

"We have been given the opportunity to rename West 79th Street from Broadway to Riverside Drive in his name, Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach Way," reads an introduction on the petition. "It is only too appropriate to honor him in this way, to forever remember how he changed lives as he walked up and down this street."

A call to Neshama Carlebach, who has followed in her father's footsteps as an inspirational singer, was returned by a family friend, Corey Baker.

"It's too early, on such a sensitive issue, to be giving a comment," Baker said.

Rabbi Goldie Milgram, one of the women who told Lilith she was molested by the rabbi — in her case at a summer camp when she was 14 — said she would not oppose the street renaming in his honor.

"There are many public figures who had significant shadow sides," said Rabbi Milgram, an author and teacher in Woodstock, N.Y. "It is not for us to remove the places they have earned with their work but to rejoice in the good they have done, to provide opportunities for healing those who were hurt and not denying their pain."

Naomi Mark, a Manhattan psychotherapist and longtime student of Rabbi Carlebach who will participate in the boundaries panel at the conference, said the rabbi "never wanted to be a flawless guru."

As the 10th anniversary of his passing approached, Mark said she hoped Rabbi Carlebach would be remembered for his ability to empathize and inspire.

"He really understood our lives and the sense of alienation people sometimes feel living in the modern world, trying to juggle spirituality and Judaism in the context of the many contradictions they feel," Mark said. "He understood what those struggles are like and that's what made him different from other traditional rebbes.

Dissociation in school children: an epidemic of failing in disguise

The International Society for the Study of Dissociation NEWS
YOUR SOURCE FOR UP TO DATE INFORMATION ON COMPLEX TRAUMA AND DISSOCIATION
VoIume22. Number 4 July/August 2004  

Critical Issues:
Dissociation in school children: an epidemic of failing in disguise
By Na'ama Yehuda, MSC, SLP, TSHH

(Reprinted by Permission)


As a part-time speech-language pathologist in inner-city public schools, I treat academically failing children who are mandated for speech services due to speech-language disorders and delays. All too often, masked by or masqueraded as problems with memory, auditory processing, word-retrieval, social language, restricted vocabularies, learning disorders, ADHD, and PDD; children exhibit alarming symptoms of dissociation. However, even though dissociation can impact cognition, language, socialization, and learning, it is almost always left unidentified. Speech-language pathologist and other education professionals don't know how to recognize dissociation and aren't trained to tend to it even if they do somehow name it. It is a terrible oversight.

Dissociative children in mainstream education aren't rare, at least not in the low-income, high-violence areas I work in. In the 2002-2003 school-year alone, out of 24 children on my caseload, six received scores higher than 12 on the CDC, and five more had scores over eight. Given that most checklists were filled by teachers (and not parents or guardians), and had limited information about home and nighttime behavior, CDC scores in some students could have been even higher. My colleague had several dissociative children on her caseload, as did the other two speech teachers" employed by the school. Together, we serviced over 100 kids-a forth of the school's roster. It was a chaotic school, filled with disillusioned teachers and shuffling, spark-less children who were just as disillusioned (so many were in foster care that forms avoided the word parent, using only "guardian"). 

Paramedics and police were called to the elementary school almost daily for violence against peers and teachers, and "psychotic breakdowns" such as a table-tossing six-grader, a five-year-old running down hallways with glass shards in his mouth, and a non-responsive fifth-grader. Granted, that particular school was not an average elementary school and has earned the dubious prestige of one of "most failing schools" in all of New York City... It was located in the heart of Harlem, with drug related shootings on corner bodegas, and crumbling public housing projects that were home to many of the students. It would have been hard to find a child who did NOT experience violence and trauma. One would expect that with such harsh a reality, the school would be highly tuned to the impact of trauma on its students. .Yet it was not so. If anything, staff showed desensitization that was itself disturbingly dissociative...

As a consultant, I'm usually assigned to a different school every year, often such that couldn't attract enough staff to cover the kids needing services. There were dissociative children on every caseload in every school I've worked in, including a special-education school for children with Autism. If one keeps in mind the statistics of child maltreatment and the research on post-traumatic stress symptoms in maltreated children and children who witnessed trauma, this prevalence shouldn't be surprising. In fact, it is probably likely that there are dissociative children in every school around the country, maybe around the world! Close to one million child-maltreatment cases are substantiated annually in the US alone, and even this figure is suspected to be vastly under-reported. Upward of 75% of substantiated maltreatment comes from the hands of close family, often resulting in foster placements and/or destabilization of family units which further stresses already overwhelmed children.

Dissociation research is yet to conduct large scale prevalence studies in the general and/or traumatized young population. However, with post traumatic stress strongly associated with child maltreatment and subsequent dissociation, statistics from PTSD research can maybe hint at the possible prevalence of dissociative symptoms in school-age children. The percentage of PTSD in maltreated children ranges from 20% to over 63%, depending on definition and evaluation criteria. In medically ill children (including car-accidents and burns), PTSD prevalence was found to be 12% to 53%, and in children exposed to disasters (earthquakes, hurricanes) and war, from 14% to 95%, Even indirect exposure to violence places children at risk for post-traumatic symptoms, and in today's society is a frequent stressor: up to 80% of inner-city adolescents report witnessing an assault, 40% a shooting or stabbing, and almost 25% a homicide. PTSD prevalence in a sample of these teens ranged from 23% (in high-school students exposed to community violence) to 65% (in a sample of adolescent female offenders ages 13-22, many of whom have been abused) (Silva 2004). In general, severity of post-traumatic symptoms is directly related to the severity and proximity of the traumatic event. Children exposed to severe, chronic, and/or multiple-source trauma, often present with dissociative symptoms which further impact their ability to do learn and socialize (Silberg 1998, Putnam 1997, Attias & Goodwin, 1999). Young children who have little parental support due to parents who are absent, overwhelmed by their own post-traumatic stress, and dealing with psychiatric conditions, are more vulnerable to post-traumatic stress and dissociation, let alone if the caregiver is the cause of trauma (Silva 2004). In the schools I've worked in, parental support was often significantly compromised or unavailable. With family-units smaller, single parenting on the rise, and divorce affecting almost one out of two households, parental supports can be compromised well beyond society's borders of under-privileged, high-violence-exposed population.

The significance of the statistics above is that even due to maltreatment alone, an estimated up to 600,000 children are added annually to those already burdened by post-traumatic symptoms. Our education system is filled with millions of maltreated and otherwise traumatized children who still have to go to school. There they are expected to learn, communicate, and socialize; regardless of whether and why they might be unavailable for learning due to persistent states of arousal, anxiety and dissociation (Attias & Goodwin, 1999; Putnam, 1997; Silva, 2004).

My students' turbulent life and confirmed or likely trauma was common knowledge and most teachers weren't without compassion to the children's plight. However, other than immediately following a serious trauma, school staff did not make the connection between a child's behavior in class and his or her history and present stresses. Once a child was placed in foster care or some time passed since the trauma, the child was supposed "to be over it", even grateful. Frequent family "re-arrangements", separation from parents and siblings, and multiple foster placements were rarely considered a good enough explanation for a child's acting out or spacing out. Like a hologram, children's dissociation ended up mirrored in the dissociation and compartmentalization of the adults around them: school is school, home is home, and history is history. Teachers' blindness to children's pain wasn't malicious. School professionals simply aren't educated about traumatic aftermath or dissociation. Children are left to bear the blame for coping skills that-if identified and treated-can make enormous academic and personal difference (Attias & Goodwin, 1999; Putnam, 1997; Siiberg 1998, Silva, 2004).

Though quite burnt-out by overcrowded classrooms and ever-changing teaching programs, school staff can benefit from understanding and recognizing dissociation. Teachers I've worked with were interested in having skills that would then help them better manage and motivate their most difficult students; even if only because ultimately students' achievements reflects heavily on a teacher's perceived skill. Once they understood what dissociation is, why it happens, and why a child might apply it in the classroom, teachers were generally open to reduce confrontation and encourage grounding. Simple things, such as filling in an aggressive yet denying child as to what just took place, rather than immediately interrogating for 'why did you do that?" helped tremendously. As did looking at a child's "spacing out" through the lens of overwhelm rather than laziness, or considering the fact that an upset-at home or in class- might be at the root of a shift in behavior and skills. Simultaneously speech-language work focused on filling up what seems like dissociation-specific holes in communication: learning cause and effect, understanding sequence and consequence, identifying and naming feelings and body-states, predicting outcome, turn taking, and telling stories. With this help, and even though they sorely needed adequate counseling which they didn't get, students were at least better able to tolerate daily interactions as well as to take tiny yet heartening risks to attach to adults who were in turn more compassionate and less flustered.


Educating tens of thousands of teachers is a tall order. Related service providers such as school psychologists and speech-language pathologists are a good place to start: the children we see are already failing and therefore more likely to have issues needing attention. Dissociation and hyperactivity (in sexually abused girls) were the best indicators for learning problems, avoidant behavior, and overall poor academic performance (Putnam 1997). With the numbers of maltreated children and the price of dissociation so astronomical, anything that can be done to help identify dissociation in children who are already failing academically and socially is crucial.

Future research will hopefully elucidate whether certain communication disorders symptoms are more indicative of post-traumatic and dissociative behavior than others. The ISSD current commitment to move dissociation into the mainstream, will no doubt (I'm an eternal optimist...) help de-stigmatize dissociation and evolve to a place where every mental-health professional will be wellversed in evaluation and treatment of dissociation. The recent publication of the ISSD guidelines for the evaluation and treatment of dissociative symptoms in children and adolescents is already paving the way for that. In the meanwhile, there is enough already known about trauma and development to support screening for dissociation among children sent for related services. Especially in cases where trauma is known or likely and the child already exhibits unusual behaviors and symptoms.

From the time they are four-years-old to when they reach eighteen, children spend most of their waking hours in school. For eight hours a day five days a week, they are in a potentially safe and can be seen and their struggle be heard. For the hundreds of thousands of traumatized children in our school system, and the many of them who are dissociative, trauma-educated staff can make the difference between healing and failing. While teachers and speech-language pathologists are not expected to treat children's dissociation, they can-with relatively little training-function as frontline screeners of dissociation that heeds further assessment, cooperate with therapeutic teams, and assist with carry over of grounding and integrative skills.

References:

1. Attias, R., Goodwin, 1. (1999). Splintered Reflections: Images of the Body in Trauma. Basic Books.
2. Child Maltreatment (1997): Reports from the States to the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System
3. Putnam, F W (1997). Dissociation in Children and Adolescents: A Developmental Perspective, The Gulliford Press.
4. Putnam, EW (1997) Child Dissociative Checklist (CDC) Version 3, Dissociation in Children and Adolescents: A Developmental Perspective, The Gulliford Press, Appendix Two, pp 354-356.
5. Silberg,J. (1998). The Dissociative Child:Diagnosis, Treatment, and Management, Sidran Press.
6. Silva, R.R (2004) Post Traumatic Stress Disorders in Children and Adolescent Handbook. Norton Press,
pp.8-9, 14