© (1999) By Rabbi Jo David (Reprinted by Permission)
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| Rabbi Jo David |
Q: How does one "honor" a father who knew that his brother-in-law sexually abused you for many years and did nothing to stop it?
A: I grieve with you for the pain such a situation created for you.
The
commandment that charges us to honor our parents pre-supposes that our
parents acted properly toward us - that they protected, clothed, fed and
educated us. A parent who abdicates the duties implicit in parenthood -
and most certainly protecting a child from abuse is primary - is not,
by definition, a parent. You have no religious or moral obligation to
honor your father or your mother, if she too, was involved in neglecting
to protect you from her brother-in-law.
Today, there are many
support groups for men and women who suffered from sexual abuse.
Recovering from abuse is possible, and very important so that your
future is not molded by your past. If you have not connected with one of
these groups, please let me know the area of the country in which you
live and I'll give you some leads to follow up.
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